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The book Fifty Shades of Grey is climbing the publishing charts, further propelling the phenomenon of erotica gone mainstream.
I should start with the disclaimer that I have not read the book.
Don’t need to.
Have no desire to.
The landscape is cluttered with shiny things masquerading as pathways to authentic intimacy, and I’m fairly certain that Fifty Shades of Grey is merely finding its place in the mix.
Call me crazy, but I’m a bit leery of anything that is compelling otherwise rational women to swing by their local adult bookstore in search of “mommy porn.”
Apparently, the term “mommy porn” has been contrived to describe erotica and sexual paraphernalia that appeals to women looking to spice up their otherwise hum-drum suburban existence.
The “mommy porn” term doesn’t exactly make it more palatable for me.
The popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey should not surprise us.
Sex is a hot topic right now.
Every avenue from reality shows to legitimate news outlets are chomping at the bit to explore anything and everything sexual, whether it be eccentric sexual practices or open marriages or the physiology behind an orgasm.
In one regard, the increasing comfort of sexual discussion has been a good thing for those of us relentlessly proclaiming God’s plan for sex. After all, right at this moment you are reading a blog. About sex. Written by a Christian wife.
I picked a good time to speak publicly about sex.
But my heart grieves over how decimated the landscape is with what are marketed as shortcuts to authentic sexual intimacy.
One need not look far for quick fixes to the disrepair that many couples have allowed — and even fostered — in their own marriage bed.
Do we really believe that indescribable sexual encounters within a marriage can only be reached through questionable techniques and philosophies?
Have we truly lost sight of God’s gift of sex?
It’s not that I’m against spicing things up. Hey, if anyone is a champion for hot passionate sex, it’s me.
What I’m against is choosing paths that short-circuit building a foundation of sexual vulnerability and connection that glorifies God.
The Apostle Paul warned about false prophets cleverly taking what is horrific and packaging it as righteousness. Paul further emphasizes his point when he says that even “…Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.” (2 Corinthians 11:14)
As Christians, we need to have a discerning heart and mind.
When it comes to great sex with your spouse, the very first place you need to focus upon is the Lord and His Word — sources that overflow with provisions for all that is needed for fulfilling sexual intimacy within your marriage bed.
Then look at each other, seeking to invest in each other in such a way that tender, profound, sacred and hot sexual intimacy is an obvious outcome.
Peruse other sources of insights that fall in line with the Christian values of marital fidelity and marital compassion. Whenever someone asks me what is “okay” sexually for a Christian married couple to do, I always say (1) No third parties and (2) No one is getting hurt emotionally, physically or spiritually.
If you want great sex with your husband, trust me on this — there are no short cuts.
Fifty Shades of Grey? No thanks.
Fifty shades of great sex with your husband? Now there is something worth your heart and time.
Copyright 2012, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.
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