I recently was watching a “behind the scenes” story about the Royal Family. I learned that Charles doesn’t even put his own toothpaste on his toothbrush… never has in fact. A servant does this for him. And he and Diana had only seen each other 13 times before they got married. 13 times total, people.
The queen has something like 2 or 3 drivers. And I’d be willing to bet not one member of the Royal Family has ever done their own laundry or vacuumed their own floors or scrubbed their own toilets.
It is hard to fathom that you and I have anything in common with William and Kate, right? I mean after all, these are people who live a lifestyle of yachts, exotic vacations and $200 dress shirts.
And not one of us ever embarked on marriage with quite the caliber of William and Kate’s little shindig. They will stand before 1,900 guests — and literally millions of people viewing via televisions, smart phones and laptop computers.
Their wedding will reflect all the finest material things that any wedding planner could dream up. From the flowers to the food to the dresses to the place settings to the programs — not one detail will have not been scrutinized hundreds of times before the wedding day even arrived. It will hold all the essence of any fairytale we could imagine.
Despite all that, though, I believe that you, I and all other married folks do have something in common with William and Kate.
After all is said and done, William and Kate will be where many of us were on our wedding night. They will close the door of a private room and it will just be the two of them. No cameras. No friends and family. No elaborate details.
One man. One woman. One bed.
And though their “suite” may be a bit fancier than anything you and I have ever been in, they still will find themselves on common ground with the rest of us who are married. Their sexual intimacy will be exclusively their responsibility — and their privilege.
If experience tells us anything it’s that William and Kate will likely face many of the same challenges, miscommunications and navigational difficulties that we all face at one time or another in our sexual intimacy.
They will discover what we now know — that deep abiding sexual intimacy in marriage takes effort and vulnerability. No one can do that for them. And no one can do it for us.
Honestly, I see William and Kate as two very real people — who happen to be living within rare circumstances. Of everyone who walks the earth, very few live a life of “royalty” (at least the kind of royalty that includes private drivers, palaces and servants who put the toothpaste on the toothbrush).
I would bet my last cup of tea and my last crumpet, though, that William and Kate, at their core, are more like you and me than they are different from us. And hopefully when they make love, they will glimpse on something that is afforded to all of us who enter the covenant of one flesh.
My prayer for them is they discover that sex does matter — and that no one except the two of them can make it nurtured ground in their marriage.
And here you were thinking you had nothing in common with royalty.
Oh that’s right! We are royalty. We are children of the only King who truly will reign forever.
And sex was His idea.
Copyright 2011, Julie Sibert, Intimacy in Marriage Blog.