Intimacy in Marriage

BETTER Sex in Your Christian Marriage

What to Say to Your Husband During Sex

Occasionally, people contact me interested in writing a guest post for my site.  While I don’t run all of these, I do value throwing a different voice out here once in awhile.

So today we have a guest post from Lisa Shoreland, who is a resident blogger for the site Go College. It isn’t a site that really has anything to do with marriage, but I think she makes some valid points on what to say to your husband during sex.

Glean what tips you think will work in your marriage…

Your bedroom isn’t the local library, so why do you stay quiet while grabbing a few minutes in the sack? Most women are nervous about saying anything during sex because they’re not sure what their husbands want to hear. And it’s hard to believe that words could improve the experience – but they most certainly can.

If you haven’t learned by now that everything in marriage goes better with improved communication, you will. Sex is just one more aspect of that maxim, so don’t hesitate to communicate verbally while you’re going at it. Dial up your courage and read on to find out what your husband is dying to hear from you in the bedroom.

What He’s Doing Right

If you’re enjoying yourself, let him know – men want to get clued in when they’re giving a five-star performance. It’s a huge source of manly pride to let your husband know that he’s slammed it out of the park when he’s trying to please you. Say things like:

  • “I love it when you touch/kiss my ____ .”
  • “It feels so incredible when you _____. Don’t stop!”
  • “You’re so good at _____.”

Specific Instructions

Men like to be in control, but they also tend to think it’s pretty hot when you take the reins. Tell your husband exactly what to do to you. If you don’t know how you want to be touched, experiment together and tell him what to try. Be as specific as possible to get him (and you) completely turned on, then enjoy having sex just the way you’ve always wanted it.

For example, tell him how to use his hands, tongue, penis, and body weight to really turn up the heat. Then, let him know if you want it softer, harder, to the left or right, higher or lower, and any other specific urges you have. Trust me – your husband will be only too happy to acquiesce.

The Big Moment

This is an important one. Tell your husband all about it when you’re about to climax. There are two big reasons for this:

  • It lets him know that he’s pleasing you beyond belief. Tell him you’re out of control with pleasure and that it’s all because of him – this makes sex more satisfying for both of you. It tells your husband that he’s a successful sex partner and it heightens the orgasm for you.
  • It gives him permission to come. Because most men finish before their female partners have a chance to orgasm, your husband may be holding back until you have your big moment. Let him know that you’re about to get there so he can have his own climax.

Rewards & Affirmation

What does your husband work on the hardest? If he goes to the gym and takes pride in his “huge” biceps, for example, compliment him on that aspect of his body. Reward his efforts to look hotter by letting him know that you notice and appreciate those efforts. It might seem cheesy at first, but if you can do this sincerely, it will go a long way toward intensifying your sexual experiences.

What You Love about Him

The best way to give your husband sincere verbal admiration is to talk about what you love about him. If you have a thing for his hands, for example, don’t keep it to yourself – let him know what you like about them and what you love about the way he uses them to please you during sex. Keep in mind that your husband won’t mind if you talk dirty, so don’t be shy. You might be surprised at how much of a difference you notice between verbal and nonverbal sex.

Lisa Shoreland has an English Degree from the University of North Carolina, and is a freelance part-time writer for Go College. She mostly writes about higher education, but is always looking to expand her writing topics. In her spare time, she enjoys creative writing, practicing martial arts, and taking weekend trips.

March 24th, 2011 by