authentic, intimacy, sex, sexual intimacy, sexual intimacy struggles, sexual struggles
It’s Reigning. It’s Pooring.
God wants you and your husband having great sex. Satan, on the other hand, hates it when married couples have sex, let alone enjoy it. Why? Because both Satan and God know this truth: Sex is incredibly powerful, designed to usher married couples into profound oneness. I have heard sex referred to as “spiritual glue,” and I think no description is more accurate.
Where oneness prevails, arrows of destruction will fail. Sounds kind of cliche, but it’s so true. I know that when I start to recognize even a hint of discord in my marriage, one of the best things we can do is make love. Resolving the issue is needed too, but after all that tenderness, sometimes the issue becomes less relevant. Not always, but sometimes.
So as a fellow Christian wife, I am asking you to discern who is reigning in your sexuality — God or Satan? If it is Satan, in what ways has he made your sexual relationship “poor?”
Hear me out on this one… I’m not overlooking personal accountability by you or your husband in your sexuality, because obviously we must deliberately walk in the direction of health for there to actually be health. I am simply shedding light on some often-overlooked darkness. There is a spiritual battle being waged for your sexual intimacy.
And Satan is crafty… he knows that if he can cause division between you and your husband sexually, he is well on his way to winning the war. He is well on his way to making not just your sex life poor, but your entire relationship poor.
God is not oblivious to this spiritual dynamic. He’s right there too, with His Word and Holy Spirit, clearly calling us to pay close attention to the details that matter most. Here’s my paraphrase of what He says about your physical intimacy with your husband: “Protect it. Nurture it with abandon. Enjoy it. Remain in it. See it as a gift. Allow me to heal where there has been pain. Seek me. Trust me. Love well.”
So take note friends. Hear my humble heart. Be careful that you are not sacrificing your sexual intimacy on worldly altars. Be deliberately aware that one of the very best things you can do to protect your marriage and make it stronger is to nurture and enjoy sex often with your husband.
Who is reigning in your sexual intimacy? Is your relationship rich or poor? Today is as good a day as any to start replacing unhealthy patterns with healthy ones. Already in a healthy place, you say? Then now is as good a day as any to encourage women around you by your positive dialogue about sex. Will you be a fellow “light shedder” with me?
Be blessed.
Copyright 2010. Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.
What a great post. To often in our marriages we discount the work of Satan and how he is trying to tear them apart. As Christians we need to be aware of when there is a discord in our sexual intimacy and look towards God for guidance. Alisa and I have read and reread Song of Solomon many times to remind ourselves that God wants us to be sexual intimate with each other. More so He wants to be there with us cheering us on because He knows that wen the two of us come together the bond we have cannot be easily broken.
Thanks Tony! It’s so true…God does cheer us on in our sexual intimacy in our marriages. Some Christians don’t even like to think of it this way, but sex within marriage truly is worship in the eyes of the Lord… he looks upon such expression of love as reflection of His goodness reigning in the lives of his kids. And that makes Him happy. On another note, I started to listen to your podcast on “How Do You Like To Be Touched”… got distracted but plan to get back to it soon! Thank you for speaking so wonderfully about marriage.
Yes indeed, Julie, I totally agree. Satan loves to spread the lie that God frowns on sex and that hot sex is just evil, when actually the complete opposite is true. The deceiver loves to use sex to divide a couple when God intends it to be a strong uniting force, as you say, the glue in the relationship. Excellent post!
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My husband hasn’t had sex intimacy or love for at least 45 years. He thinks sex is good enough at least once in a marriage. He moved down to the basement and I have the upstairs. He avoids me, and we never talk, he just wants to be left alone and not bothered by me. We just happen to be living in the same house together. I’ve always wanted kids and dreamed about a family. I was told by my husband that he will have nothing to do with it. And if I wanted kids find another guy to do me. And that my boy friend would have to support it.My life has been terrible, being unwanted,unlove, over looked and forgotten. I just can’t explain to any one the pain.
I’m so sorry to hear of your pain Amy. I encourage you to find safe females you can confide in, particularly Christian women who will be able to hopefully give you wise counsel.
It sounds as if your husband is suffering from depression. I imagine you have tried to encourage him to seek help, but if you have not, this may be a good thing to suggest to him.
My prayers are with you. Your husband’s treatment of you is something he will definitely have to give an account for to the Lord some day. How sad that he has been so careless with his marriage to you.
Its been awhile since I wrote !
You had said depression might be his problem, and his doctor has him on medication, his personality is better. I think, communicating with him is terrible. He won’t really talk to me, all he says is leave me alone, don’t mess with my life, I’m who I’m now go away. And I’m sure your right he will have to explain to the LORD some day. I really don’t think he will be with me after the accounts are given. I’ll stay in the same house because of financial reason, but I can’t worry about him any more. His day will come. I was hopeing it would be better but I guess it won’t happen.