10 Confessions of a Wife Who Loves Sex

Posted on Tuesday, July 24th, 2012

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I have to confess...

1. I wasn't always this way.

About loving sex, that is.  I've always been a redhead, though. (Immaterial to this conversation but thought I'd throw it in anyway).

With regard to sex, the truth is that healthy sexual intimacy CAN BE learned and embraced.  An old dog can learn new tricks.  Bad analogy, I know. You get the point though.

2. I used to think multiple orgasms were pure myth.

Like some crazy sex therapist just made that up to mess with people.  But now I know better. I mean, I really really know better.

3.  On rare occasion, I have been too tired for sex.

That's when I make him do all the work. He doesn't seem to mind.

4. I am nicer to my husband and he is nicer to me. Because of sex.

I think we would still be nice to each other without the sex, but not really nice.  It would be the fake nice.  Like how you smile at the woman on the PTA committee, even though you can barely tolerate her.

5.  Sex is really cheap entertainment.

Even if you toss in a Mike's Hard Lemonade beforehand, we're still looking at less than $5 for the night.

6.  I don't care how dirty the sheets get.

Who's going to see these sheets anyway?  If someone is checking out my sheets, I've got way bigger problems to figure out.

7.  I believe wholeheartedly that my sons will grow up with a healthy God-honoring attitude about sex.

They may even bring up the topic at Thanksgiving dinner.   You know, like when you go around the table and everyone says what they are grateful for.  I can just imagine them as adults, sitting there with their wives, saying, "I am so thankful for God's gift of sex.  Grandma, what are you thankful for?"

8.  I have thought of my grocery list while having sex.

But it contained stuff like whipped cream and hot fudge, so it doesn't really count. The list, that is.  The sex counts.

9.  I think guys like it when their wives occasionally go commando.

Well... I think my guy likes that.  I don't know about your guy.

10. We've never done the role play thing.

I don't think I could stay in character. "Hey you thief... whatcha doin trying to steal my heart? Come on over here so I can arrest you." I'm laughing just thinking about it. I would still use the handcuffs though.

Any other wives who love sex have some confessions to share?  Keep it clean sisters, but feel free to share...

Copyright 2012, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.

Oh and don't forget to check out my eBook Pursuit of Passion: Discovering True Intimacy in Your Marriage.

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40 Responses to
“10 Confessions of a Wife Who Loves Sex”

  • Shane says: July 24th, 2012 at 10:39 pm

    Thank you for this! Good to know that things can change. You may remember that I posted a while back about needing to communicate with my hubby.... And we did! It's a step in the right direction and I am hopeful.

  • Chrystal says: July 25th, 2012 at 8:53 am

    Great post! Very funny, too! I definitely enjoy intimacy with my husband and it makes our connection outside the bedroom even greater.

  • Sis says: July 25th, 2012 at 9:34 am

    We tried the whole role play thing, it didn't really work, I couldn't stay in character either.

  • Dory says: July 25th, 2012 at 10:00 am

    Don't forget... when you *have* more sex, you *want* more sex! :)

  • Brittney says: July 25th, 2012 at 11:11 am

    Love this!! I tell our small group and my sisters all the time how amazing sex is for me and can be for them to if they open themselves up more. Most look at me like I'm delusional. It is refreshing to hear that other women are enjoying their sex lives the way God intended us to! :)
    My confession would be a pat on the fanny from my hubby afterwards for me is kinda like putting a bow on a present! ;)

  • La Taja Wade says: July 25th, 2012 at 11:15 am

    I LOVE this!!!

  • happywife says: July 25th, 2012 at 12:13 pm

    I love that you put that you are nicer to him and he is nicer to you because of sex. I have found that to be true for us, but I wasn't sure if was a normal thing. I have to confess, that sometimes I get mad, but I react nicely because I want sex later. Is that wrong? Also, since God has changed my views and attitudes about sex, I sometimes feel like a teenage boy, thinking about it A LOT!!

  • JulieSibert says: July 25th, 2012 at 12:15 pm

    Thanks for the comments everyone!

    Yes, @happywife... I definitely think it's normal that if the sexual intimacy is nurtured, a husband and wife are nicer to each other.

    I think about sex a lot too, so you're not alone on that one! Ha!

  • arbrown says: July 25th, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    Great post. I am too a redhead which brings the question to mind : Do redhead really have more fun or do we like sex more?

  • GC says: July 25th, 2012 at 6:15 pm

    I love this post. I think that everything goes more smoothly in a marriage when both partners are enjoying sex regularly . It is easier to be nicer, as you said, and it's also easier to "put up with" things that would normally annoy you. And, having more sex does put you in the mood for, well, more sex.

    I have thought about the role play thing, but am not sure we could get into that! But we are definitely doing and saying things we would not have just a few years ago.

  • Megan@DoNotDisturb says: July 25th, 2012 at 7:26 pm

    Ha! So true and I can relate to the post so well. Thanks for sharing!

    Megan

  • Kevin Bullard says: July 25th, 2012 at 11:17 pm

    Julie -- I love it, and I will be sharing it! lol

    BTW, perhaps I dropped the ball (I cannot remember), but we never connected for an interview. Are you still game for that?

    Kevin

  • Amanda says: July 26th, 2012 at 9:29 am

    Ha! Other than the first two, I could have written this list, and I wish some of my friends would read it!
    People laugh at us and roll their eyes when I say that my husband and I are still "nice" to each other in part because we frequently have sex. After 4 years of marriage, I'm getting a little tired of people saying "Oh you're still in the honeymoon phase"... not only is that statistically untrue but I wish people would just accept that I still REALLY LIKE my husband. Sex has a lot to do with this for sure! When we are intimate regularly, there is less grumpiness, less argument over small stuff, more loving feelings. Win win win. Even if I do make him do all the work when I'm too tired ;)
    The roleplay comment totally cracked me up. Friends have privately indicated to me that they think that because we both really like sex, we must have some crazy sex life full of daring and adventure... but we are the most "vanilla" sex-in-bed-at-night-lights-out type people. And we like it that way.

  • Kate says: July 26th, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    I love this! There are a few times I have wanted to voice these things or others. Hmm I will have to think on it, you may just have started a trend! Love J's too! Julie, you are the woman! :)

  • M at A Marriage Restored says: July 26th, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    Love this post, Julie! My confession is that (now that we are talking about all aspects of our lives, including our love life), now that I know my husband likes to look at me ( I have almost shushed the "you're too fat" inner voices) we use candles every time, and I almost always start out with sexy lingerie. He's much happier, feels very loved, which in turn makes him romance me and shower me with love. Thanks for your great blog, Julie!

  • Kentucky Colonel says: July 26th, 2012 at 2:07 pm

    LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! THIS!

    Too cute!

  • thop says: July 26th, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    I love this list! I agree with all of the points made here. I hate it that for #1 it took me until about year 16 of a so far 24 year marriage to get IT, and understand the plan God has for a married couple. Now, I too LOVE the sexual intimacy that we share.

    Also, conversely for #8....I have on occasion thought some random thought during sex....but now my problem seems to be the opposite too...thinking racy thoughts about my husband at really inappropriate times :) like church or family gatherings.....oh, what a problem to have.

    Most of my friends I try to explain what the Lord has done to my heart, just look at me like I am crazy. It's okay though, I just keep praying that they get IT too, and soon.

    Love the articles, thanks for sharing!

  • JulieSibert says: July 26th, 2012 at 8:23 pm

    Yes @Shane I do remember you commenting previously! Praise God for the good work He is doing. Your marriage is worth it!

  • Janet says: July 26th, 2012 at 10:49 pm

    I'm 42 and pregnant. God's plan - not exactly ours. When I was spreading the news, folks would make comments to imply that I was "too old" and I should "know better." I just look them in the eye and say "I can't help it my husband is hot and I can't keep my hands off of him." All of a sudden, they were a little jealous.

  • Ol' Will says: July 27th, 2012 at 4:31 pm

    Lucky (Blessed) husbands!

    Number 6 caught my eye. Foreplay for us is spreading a towel on the bed.

    Sigh...

  • 10 Confessions of Another Sex-Positive Wife | One Flesh Marriage says: July 27th, 2012 at 10:16 pm

    [...] Bloggers Association) have been sharing true confessions of being a sex positive wife.  Julie at Intimacy in Marriage started this revolutionary trend and I just couldn’t resist.  I am blessed to call these ladies [...]

  • Sex Positive Voices « Do Not Disturb says: July 30th, 2012 at 7:21 am

    [...] Julie at Intimacy in Marriage [...]

  • Erin (Mystery32) says: July 30th, 2012 at 10:17 am

    Love this, Julie! Makes me smile. :) May we all be so positive! I think I might need to jump on the bandwagon and do one of these myself for my next "Sex Talk Monday." Keep up the good work!

  • Sandra Houtz says: July 30th, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    who hasn't fuzzed out occasionally? now if it happens alot then you had better start talking, pointing or directing hubby if you can't keep your head in the game. It's so nice to hear that it's not just me being a horn-dog! :) Oh yeah and we have been married 21 years and have six kids ... 5 at home ;)

  • 10 Secrets from a Wife Who Waited…and Who Loves Married Sex, Part 1 « Becoming His Eve says: August 2nd, 2012 at 1:14 am

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    [...] you follow any of my fellow marriage bloggers such as The Generous Wife, Intimacy in Marriage, Hot, Holy and Humorous, or One Flesh Marriage, this title may seem familiar. Over the last week or [...]

  • 10 Secrets from a Wife Who Waited…and Who Loves Married Sex, Part 2 « Becoming His Eve says: August 9th, 2012 at 1:14 am

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  • Tracy says: August 15th, 2012 at 1:53 pm

    My husband and I have a very healthy sex life. We have done the role playing. It doesn't matter if you slip out of character. It doesn't make the sex a failure. Our thought is that as long as it is the two of us in a marriage, it is no one else's business what we do. I can tell you after 13 years of marriage, it's hotter than it was when we were young and didn't really know what we were doing. Thanks for your blog!

  • mjoy says: August 15th, 2012 at 8:48 pm

    We have put a website together that celebrate sex in marriage, this is a little edgy for some, but love hot monogamy. http://www.marriageheat.com

  • Suzetta says: August 18th, 2012 at 8:43 pm

    Will surely share on my fanpage !! We inspire intimacy - our goal is to get couples communicating, laughing, and enjoying sex !! (Fanpage :: http://www.facebook.com/EveisFaithful)

  • 10 Confessions of a FAITHFUL Wife « AFFAIRCARE says: August 19th, 2012 at 11:08 pm

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  • Kelsey says: August 23rd, 2012 at 4:11 pm

    I'm loving this website! I'm a 20 year old, newlywed of just shy of a year (it will be a year next week!). You speak so freely and confidently of sex, but so Biblically-based and God-fearing. I love God and His creation of loving (what we call it in my house). We are totally "organic" lovers with no "additives" (if you catch my drift...) but definitely not the least bit boring. I'm so very very thankful for our time together. And I HEAR YA to the dirty sheets thing....happens routinely.

    Thanks again!

  • Rodger says: September 14th, 2012 at 11:18 am

    I will tell you why you have a better relationship with your husband when you have a good sex life.

    1) The brain releases drugs during an orgasm. Women release more than men. This drug can cause you to be extra trusting, and even fall in love.

    2) men have a very strong libido, and when their own wife won't have sex with them, they feel lied to and cheated. And it is hard to have a close relationship with someone you believe lied and cheated you. And my guess is that women will never understand this point because they will never have enough testosterone in their system. The very thing that makes your man manly is also what makes him horny.

    3) I also believe God gave women a closer relationship to the mate when they submitted to pleasing her husband. Likewise a husband is happier when he saves his sexual desires for his wife.

  • Evelyn says: September 25th, 2012 at 4:03 pm

    Addressing mind, body and spirit is key to having a great sex relationship with your husband. Women over 40 particularly need to address their health issues and mental hang-ups. Get healthy in all three areas and see how wonderful sex can be again.

  • Calienté says: October 1st, 2012 at 10:58 am

    I thank God for his gift of Orgasm. I make reference to it as the human equivalent to being in the presence of God (worship). You'll never be disappointed and always want more!

    Thank you for worship!

  • Shasta E says: October 13th, 2012 at 9:42 am

    I truly believe that when ur marriage is built off of God, that sex is even better. Some poeple think that we might be out of our mind but if u look in the bible there is more then a few verses with sex in a sense. The plain fact that God made Adam and better half who is eve out of his body parts it the #1 and they were naked until she eat fruit from the tree. Then if u read Song of Solom that is an entire love story with every sexual scriputre talking about the woman breasts. So I def. agree that sex it great with my husband and even more so since we have had God in our lives, after I graduted Alabama Teen Challange and we renewed our vows, everything fell in place I mean we like jack rabbits everyday a couple times a day. So keep God in everything u do with ur spouse and I promise every aspect of life with him or her with be the best ever, because God wants it to be.

  • Me says: March 27th, 2013 at 7:47 pm

    Where's the real content. Lot of effort, and no real story.

  • Gary Meaker says: December 5th, 2013 at 2:18 pm

    I believe that the dimension that is missing in the sexual relationship between man and wife is simply that this is the closest mankind can get to experience the bond of unity, joy and glory that exists in the unity of the Godhead. It is for this reason that sex should only occur between man and wife as ordained by God and another reason why we should treat it with sufficient respect and not at all as if it were something dirty and to be avoided at all cost. Scripture is replete with positive references to sex conducted in the right context but condemns it in the wrong.

  • OLUKITIBI MATHEW KAYODE says: June 25th, 2014 at 10:43 pm

    THIS IS A NICE POSTING, IT WILL EDUCATE ALOT OF PEOPLE. PLS CONTINUE

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