Intimacy in Marriage

Encouraging Christian Women toward Healthy Sexual Intimacy

Sex: It’s Not Just Emotional

That headline strikes you as odd, doesn't it?

Well, I was on my fellow blogger Paul Byerly's site and came across his very insightful post Sex: It's Not Just Physical.

Paul's niche audience is husbands, and in this particular post, he does a great job of encouraging men to recognize that even though they may be highly tuned into the physical aspects of sex, they would be wise to broaden their lens and grasp the other dynamics as well.

A husband shows great respect and consideration for his wife (and for himself, really) when he equally appreciates the emotional and spiritual angles when he and his wife make love.

All this got me thinking about how we as wives also need to recognize that there is indeed a raw physicality to sex that is God-designed and worthy of attention.

If you as a wife find yourself thinking (or worse, saying) that your husband is merely an "animal" because he thoroughly enjoys the physical aspects of sex, I encourage you to consider how such a judgmental tone is casting a destructive shadow on your marriage bed.

I've long believed that there is a lot going on when a husband and wife make love -- emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically.

But as wives, I think we can be way too quick to marginalize the physical aspects.

We downplay the significance of pleasure.

We reduce sex to a simple set of steps, all in an effort to get it over with as soon as possible. Touch him here. Kiss him here. Yada. Yada. Let him come. We're done.

We minimize or disregard the sheer joy of offering our husband the indescribable physical experience that he ethically cannot get from someone else.

Some wives are even repulsed by what are indeed God-designed natural responses in a man desiring his wife. His erect penis. Him ejaculating within his wife. His arousal at the sight of her breasts, her legs, her entire body.

Personally I find it ravenously rewarding to know that I can sexually satisfy my husband in a way that leaves not even one ounce of doubt that we both enjoyed it.

Did you catch that?  My husband's sexual satisfaction is intensified by my genuine enjoyment in the experience as well.

Certainly God in all His infinite wisdom knew what He was doing when He designed sex as He did.

In His design, sexual intimacy between a husband and wife lacks nothing.  It is indeed the perfect combination of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual in a one-flesh way that simply cannot be replicated through any other means.

We as wives would be wise to not just accept the physical dimension half-heartedly or grudgingly, but rather to embrace it, learn about it, lean into it and love it.  Sex: It's not just emotional.

Want to read more? A good place to start is this post about the Wonderful Male Body.

Copyright 2012, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.

March 18th, 2012 by