intimacy, marriage problems, sexual intimacy, sexual intimacy struggles, sexual struggles, Uncategorized
What is Your Attitude About Sex?
Jul
I don’t know how you read fortunes from fortune cookies, but my husband and I add “in bed” on the end of whatever the fortune says.
It’s good lighthearted fun for us. We’re so easily amused. Good Lord! We need some hobbies.
Anyway.
We had Chinese food the other day and there were a few fortune cookies leftover. So I opened one today and chomped away on the cookie (they really aren’t that great, but I always eat the cookie).
The fortune?
Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference…in bed.
Wow. If that isn’t true?!
So what about you? How is your attitude about sex lately? Are you kind of indifferent? Excited? Eager? Resistant? Bewildered? Optimistic? Pessimistic?
Suffice to say, a husband’s and wife’s individual attitudes about sex do impact each other. When you both have a positive attitude about sex, things are compounded in a good way and sex is mutually-valued and pursued. When you both have a negative attitude, not surprisingly, sex is easily downplayed or pushed to the side.
One of the hardest challenges is when one of you has a good attitude about sex and the other one has a bad attitude, and this dynamic leads to mounting resentment, frustration, animosity, anger, sadness and regret.
That’s why it is so encouraging that we ARE capable of improving our negative attitude about sex. We are. It’s at least a good start. So if you know you could stand to do some self evaluation on your attitude, are you willing to do it?
Take a breath and start to peel back the layers on any negative perspectives you have about sex in your marriage.
You never know. The day may come when you’re eating Chinese food and you finish up by reading your fortune with “in bed” on the end of it—and you smile and laugh and have good camaraderie with your spouse.
It could happen. It could.
For more reading, you can cruise through my list of past posts, as well as my page with a bunch of posts on orgasm.
Copyright 2020, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.
Never want to miss one of my posts? Subscribe via email on this page. And be sure to join my more than 10,000 followers on my Facebook page and 11,000 followers on Twitter.
What I am discovering Julie is that it’s my attitude in anything that can have an impact on my sexual desires and enjoyment. My ageing body often screams out in pain and the last thing I think about is having or enjoying sex. But, on the upside, what I am also discovering is that engaging in sex actually helps in easing my pain levels. Maybe it’s because my mind is suddenly focused on things that bring great pleasure and not focusing on the pain which brings great discomfort?
My wife came home from work yesterday exclaiming “I am a prude!” ( Something I’ve known for decades). Her coworkers and boss never tell off-color jokes or cuss around her—if they slip, they apologize!
Unfortunately, this attitude continued into the bedroom. Her main reason for sex was procreation ( we have two daughters) but other than that, it was dirty and disgusting. Duty sex was as good as it got and I remember her last words were, “Oh, just go ahead and do it!” My 44 year marriage has been sexless with none at all the last 15 years. It was truly over after she developed varicose legs and lost both breasts to cancer. Being overly body-conscious, it’s undress in the bathroom, turn off the lights and hurry under the sheets. No touching of my legs or chest. I live with a good roommate and all I wanted was a normal sex life but wound up with real disappointment!