Do You Appreciate When Your Spouse Desires You?


sexual-desire-in-marriageBefore the social distancing had ramped up and there were more people out and about shopping, my husband and son did a quick trip to Target to pick up a few things.

While there, my husband noticed a women’s Chicago Cubs t-shirt for sale. I mention that it was a women’s t-shirt, because what he noticed was that it was tailored to.. shall we say… accentuate the assets a bit.

So he called me to see what size he should get me. He was super excited. And I was super touched.

It is a cool shirt (and we are Cubs fans. At this point we just are hoping there will be a baseball season!)

When I tried the shirt on, I thought maybe it was a little big, but I wanted his opinion. He seemed kind of surprised that I was getting his opinion on how it fit, so I lovingly shared my reasoning. I smiled and said, “You bought it because you thought it would look good on me, so I just want to make sure it really looks good in all the right ways. I’d be willing to exchange it for a medium, if you know what I mean.”

He smiled. I smiled. He liked how it fit, so no need for me to head back to Target to search for a medium. (Side note: When it comes to clothing, you do need good discernment on your spouse’s tastes. Rand knew a Cubs t-shirt was a better bet than an ultra-revealing tight top.)

My point with all this is that it’s nice to be desired. It’s not about the shirt so much as it is about him thinking of me, and me being really turned on by that.

He saw the shirt and thought of me. From my perspective as his wife, it was more than just a nice gesture. It was affirmation that he likes my body. And if a Cubs t-shirt from Target gets him excited when he thinks of me in it, then that gets me excited. Too often I think husbands and wives miss opportunities to express desire and to receive such expression enthusiastically.

Whether you are a husband or a wife reading this, there is a lesson here. Appreciate what it means to desire and to be desired. A profound transformation happens in a marriage when both spouses genuinely appreciate and nurture desire.

So buy the Cubs shirt for your sweetie. Or the Astros shirt. I mean, I won’t hold it against you if you buy the Astros shirt. I mean if that’s your thing. But the Astros. Seriously?

Just kidding!

For more reading, you can cruise through my list of past posts, as well as my page with a bunch of posts on orgasm.

And I have a 5 video series available on building better sex in your marriage. Great way to invest in your marriage!  You can find out all about it at this link:  Better Sex in Your Christian Marriage.

Copyright 2020, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.

Never want to miss one of my posts?  Subscribe via email on this page.  And be sure to join my more than 10,000 followers on my Facebook page and 11,000 followers on Twitter.

3 thoughts on “Do You Appreciate When Your Spouse Desires You?

  1. Julie Sibert says:

    @Troy… ha! We are Royals fans big time! We are Cubs fans too! And honestly, we have liked the Cardinals over the years, but if the Cards and Cubs are playing, sorry my friend… I’m going to have to go with the Cubbies!

  2. Peter LaCondress says:

    This is a great post. In counseling my wife was shocked to learn that I desire to be desired. In her mind, the man is always the pursuer. I also share in this as I had never communicated my need.
    She still has trouble wrapping her head around what I’ve expressed to her. That I seek the feeling that comes with being desired. Not just sex or physicality.
    Iitsnhard for her because she would much rather just be desired. She’s told me as much she even early on in counseling said when we got married she just expected me to be after her *all* the time and she wondered what was wrong with her. Didn’t all guys just desire and pursue their wife all the time?!
    Counseling has helped. But battling a myth (in our house) that only guys do the desiring is taking some work.

Leave a Reply