Do You Know What You Should Be Doing Sexually in Your Marriage, But You Aren’t?


I-have-a-lot-of-knowledgeOn our fridge hangs a handwritten note from our younger son. He wrote it in school when he was probably about 10.

In blue and green marker, alternating the colors between each letter, he wrote, “I have a lot of knowledge.”

I clearly remember him bringing it home from school, and when I asked him about it, in a tender voice he said, “It’s to give me hope.”

He went on to explain that his teacher had the students write encouraging messages for themselves as reminders that they are capable. It was indeed to give them hope and to help them remember they can tackle tough challenges with the knowledge they have. Because they have a lot of it!

I often hear of couples that know there is an issue with sex in their marriage and they have the knowledge to tackle it. But they don’t. They don’t work together toward a common goal of nurtured intimacy.

I can’t answer this for you, but I wonder if you know what you should be doing sexually in your marriage, but you aren’t doing it. If you long ago made peace with that and are totally fine with it, then I respect there may not be much I could say today that would change your mind.

BUT I’m hopeful I can reach those of you who sense the lack of sexual intimacy is taking a toll, maybe even a huge toll. And you are ready to change that unhealthy pattern. I’m hopeful because I have a lot of knowledge.

As a writer and speaker on sex in marriage, there is nothing that encourages me more than when I hear from a couple that has realized something needed to improve in their marriage sexually and then they actually made some improvements.

What about you? Do you know what you should be doing sexually in your marriage, but you aren’t?

Maybe it’s getting on the same page about frequency. Maybe it’s better communication about what you each find pleasurable. Maybe it’s healing past hurts and skewed messages about sex. Maybe it’s a deeper understanding that sex helps keep your marriage strong. Maybe it’s a willingness to get serious about pushing your marriage up the priority list.

Whatever has caused you to drift sexually in your marriage, I’m guessing that you have a lot of knowledge—more than enough to shore up what has eroded sexually between the two of you. If that’s the case, cling to hope today. And together save your marriage sexually.

Don’t waste the knowledge you have, but rather use what you have to actually do what you know you should be doing sexually in your marriage.

For more reading, cruise through my list of past posts. as well as my page with a bunch of posts on orgasm.

And I have a 5 video series available on building better sex in your marriage. Great way to invest in your marriage!  You can find out all about it at this link:  Better Sex in Your Christian Marriage.

Copyright 2020, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.

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