I think it takes courage to speak out of one’s own story and to strive to offer hope into someone else’s journey. Today, Joe Klock is guest blogging for me. Joe wrote a book, in which he shares his struggle with pornography addiction and his journey toward hope and healing. Does his story resonate with you…
If you are like me, you’ve pledged to stop using pornography thousands of times, only to go a day, a week, a month, or maybe a even a year….and then fall to temptation again.
And when that happens, it’s the most devastating, shameful feeling in the world. The personal humiliation coupled with the pounding self-loathing only increase the weight of the burden you carry. The burden of a dark and terrible secret, and the constant fear of the even more terrible consequences, should anyone find out what you did…..and who you are.
I am here to tell you that yes, it is possible to break the addiction. I am living proof of that.
For over 20 years I struggled with this addiction, which I have come to call “the snare.” From modest beginnings, it led me to extra-marital sexual encounters, and eventually a full-fledged affair, which destroyed my marriage, my relationship with my children, and even my career.
Against my heart, my conscience, and all of my strength, I succumbed to the temptation so much and so often that I hurt myself and others with mindless cruelty and reckless abandon. When the urge or the temptation came, the only thing I wanted was pornography.
And I got it.
But I can tell you today that I am permanently clean and I believe that it is also possible for you to be clean and stay clean. I documented my 25-year journey and the strategies and tactics I used to finally overcome this addiction in a book I titled “Escaping the Snare of Pornography Addiction.”
How do you get clean? You have to change your life. That starts with a strategy for changing what you believe. Learn a lot about pornography and you will be astounded at the devastation it causes in the lives of young women.
And even your beliefs about yourself have to change. You are NOT predisposed to falling to the temptation of pornography. You can change your life. Once your beliefs change, your thinking changes.
And once your thinking changes, your words and actions will change. And then you can start on the tactics. What you do and how you do it can be modified to lead you away from temptation, instead of toward it.
And there is a LOT you can do!
The secret to all of this is self-honesty. If you are caught in the snare, you know about a life of secrecy. You are probably well acquainted with having to lie, clean temp files off of a computer, and protect your image, which really isn’t who you are, is it?
The definition of integrity is “What you do when you are alone and no one knows.” If you don’t want to do anything you might have to lie about, then don’t do anything that you would be ashamed of if your wife, children, boss, best friend, or parents were present. If you are in the snare, you have no integrity.
But you can gain it back. It can become who you really are.
My only hope is that by honestly sharing my personal struggle and eventual success, that I can help even one man escape the snare, and save a wife and children and family the destruction that pornography causes.
The world does not need another divorce, broken marriage, and kids living in single parent houses. The world needs trust, honesty, and integrity. And that starts by getting clean and staying clean….forever.
It is possible, and you can do it. It takes courage, determination, and faith. But you can do it. God bless.
Thank you Joe for sharing so vulnerably. His book is available in paperback, on Kindle and at www.smashwords.com. He also started a blog about the subject.