Intimacy in Marriage

BETTER Sex in Your Christian Marriage

Birth Control. Sheila Gregoire. And a Conversation You Don’t Want to Miss.

Lately I’ve been a little self-absorbed.

See, I have a broken finger (long story) with some slight tendon damage thrown in as well.

Saving grace is it is on my non-dominant hand.  Still annoying though.

See what I mean?!  I’m self-absorbed.

So imagine my relief when I still managed to stumble upon this phenomenal conversation author and speaker Sheila Gregoire generated about birth control on her blog.

First there was her post Which Birth Control Method Is Best?.  Then she followed it up with Christian Birth Control Round-Up .

(Both posts are DEFINITELY worth the read, so check them out).

I gotta give Sheila a shout out on this, because it is a topic that in particular impacts women — and can be a monumental issue in marriage. (See why her posts resonated with me?! Women. Sex. Marriage. I’m all ears for discussions like this).

Whether we admit it or not, decisions about birth control (or lack thereof) are made in marriage — at least in marriages where the possibility of conception exists. Couples make those decisions either consciously or sub-consciously — with information or without.

Not surprisingly, many Christians don’t like to discuss birth control, what with all the theologies, opinions, facts and occasional news stories intermingling.

I think I have mentioned birth control in only one of my previous posts.  Lord knows, though, I have more than some passing thoughts on it.

For one, there was that mild stroke I had when I was 19 (On the pill. Not married. First sexual experience.)

Yes, a mild stroke. Experienced by little ol’ me.

Not fun I might add.

Granted, I can point to a few other things that likely contributed to the stroke, but hey… in hindsight it’s hard to not wonder about the fine print I did not read on the birth control package.

And, of course, I can’t forget that being on the pill absolutely killed my sex drive in my first marriage.  I had no idea some forms of hormonal birth control had that potential side effect.  Ahhh… the infamous, “I wish I’d known then what I know now.” My poor first husband. I’ve actually apologized to him for this.

Sheila also mentioned that it took a toll on her libido, and I’ve heard this echoed by other women as well.

If you are using hormonal birth control, don’t think I’m trying to alienate you.  I’m simply speaking out of my own story, because… well… that’s the only story I’ve got.

What is so fabulous about Sheila’s discussion on birth control is that it sheds light on valid aspects of which so many couples are either unaware or think aren’t affecting their sexual intimacy.

I’m not a medical doctor (I don’t know any marriage bloggers who are). Suffice to say, many of us are simply trying to encourage couples to address issues that are important to marriage.  If you have questions about various forms of birth control, by all means, please talk to your doctor.

And I’m not a theologian, but I am well aware there are strong opinions among Christians about various forms of birth control, including whether it should even be used.

I blog about sex.  One can’t write too long on the topic of sex without a variety of information flying her way about condoms, the ethics of hormonal birth control, and the question of whether the pull-out method works.

It doesn’t, by the way. At least not with any predictable accuracy.

Plenty of “pull-out” babies out there, wondering why their bedroom looks strikingly similar to their mom’s home office.

Anyway, I digress.

I just really wanted to take the time to say I so admire Sheila’s heart to encourage couples to really talk and seek information and make wise decisions.

I echo her sentiments.

Maybe I’m just a lazy blogger, seeing how I’m simply pointing you to her in-depth posts instead of writing a few of my own on this topic.

She’s just so dang good, though.  I’m not overly confident I could expand any further on what she and her commenters have said.

Plus I’ve got this painful finger to tend to.

I keep telling my friends that I’m just not too thrilled with any sort of pain that doesn’t result in someone handing me a baby at the end and saying “Congratulations!”

How funny is that — I just wrapped up my blog about birth control by talking about giving birth.

I know. My comedic irony is freaking you out.

Anyway, go read Sheila’s posts and chime in.

More importantly, if you haven’t already, have an open discussion with your spouse about birth control — especially if it has been a topic causing tension in your sexual intimacy.

Trust me.

You do not want to find yourself someday thinking, “I wish I’d known then what I know now.”

Copyright 2011, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.

November 9th, 2011 by