Sexual Intimacy, Miss Abigail and a Night Out on the Town

Some interesting things happen when you blog about sex.  The obvious one is I get more offers than I can count to buy Viagra through discreet off-shore “pharmacies.”

Another interesting thing that happens is I get contacted by legitimate people talking about marriage.  Some serious.  Some funny.  Some curious.  So, awhile back, I was contacted by the folks putting on a show in New York City called “Miss Abigail’s Guide to Dating, Mating and Marriage.”

I admit, even though it obviously is a comedy, I was a little leery.  After all, “mating” appears before “marriage” in the title.  But I was intrigued, and she offered me free tickets.

Sadly, even though it stars Eve Plumb (Jan of Brady Bunch fame), I just couldn’t tear myself away from the glamorous job of parenting the young’uns here in Omaha (apparently no one besides me is capable of finding the peanut butter or cleaning up the toothpaste off the bathroom sink faucet).

Good news though.  The Abigail folks said if I had a New York reader who would be willing to go, she could take the free tickets and then tell me what she thought of the show and then I could blog about it. Fortunately, I do have a New York reader.  Maybe just one. I’m not sure.

Sure, the Abigail people want some valid free press for their show, and I am diverging a bit from the usual angle of my blog. But every now and then, it’s good to wander off the path.  That’s how you find the good thrift stores. And the best home-town cafes.

Kudos to my New York reader who ventured out to the show.  If you are in New York and want to check it out, here is her take on it.

Ms. Abigail (played by Plumb) gives “old fashioned” advice to the audience members, who are presumably folks looking for either dating, mating, or marriage advice, and the content was structured in that order.  Ms. Abigail engaged the audience by asking them what they thought was important when getting prepared to go on a date, just as she did when talking about mating and marriage. Her “assistant” wrote these items on a large notepad.

The real bulk of the show was taken up by banter between Ms. Abigail and her much younger Latin assistant who spent the entire show pining over Ms. Abigail (a widow) and making jokes to the audience about how much he loved her. She, however, only saw him as a young “friend.”  

My reader shares that Plumb and the actor playing her assistant are entertaining and they try to get the audience involved.  Audience involvement, though, could only carry things so far, as some of the jokes were left without resolution.

As for the advice and content of the play, it too seems to fall short of capitalizing on all the rich material that dating and marriage really do provide.   As my reader pointed out — “dating, mating and marriage are all rife with hysterical moments, but the play really didn’t capture that.”

Bottom line — if you want some lighthearted fun that scratches the surface, this play might make for a fun afternoon or evening.  Or maybe you grew up in the 70s and seeing Eve Plumb would transport you back to that idyllic blended family where everyone got along and Florence Henderson was the coolest mom around.  Ahhh.  The 70s.  Where is my Shaun Cassidy poster?

In all seriousness, hearing about the show did heighten my awareness of something else.  Whether it’s venturing out to a community play or perusing other dining and entertainment options, couples need to be intentional about enjoying each other’s company outside of the four walls of their home.

You don’t have to buy expensive tickets to the symphony or a Broadway show or eat at a 5-star restaurant.  A date out can be as simple as shakes at a local ice cream shop or a visit to a nearby museum or a walk in a nearby park.

I don’t know about you, but when my husband and I have an occasional evening or afternoon out — away from the children in our house who apparently can’t find the peanut butter on their own — then it strengthens our desire as a couple.  Strengthened desire usually translates into hot sex later.  I’m just saying.

So break out of your routine, find something fun to do and enjoy each other’s company.  Then lock your bedroom door later.

You tell me — how does time out with your spouse help your sexual intimacy?  Miss Abigail doesn’t have a corner on advice giving.

Copyright 2010, Julie Sibert, Intimacy in Marriage.