Intimacy in Marriage

Encouraging Christian Women toward Healthy Sexual Intimacy

The 3-Second Phrase Every Marriage Needs Regarding Sex

What 3-second phrase does every marriage need regarding sex?

I bet you're thinking it is "I love you."

That's a good one, for sure, and we certainly don't want to become laxed in saying it in marriage (clothed or not clothed).

But that's not the phrase I'm talking about.

Maybe you are thinking the phrase is "Get in here NOW!" as in, "That show our kid is watching is on for 7 more minutes, so if we are ambitious and focused, we could have sex before the final credits roll. Why are your clothes still on?!!"

Nope, not that phrase either. Although quickie sex definitely should be in your repertoire, because you never know when a small window of time will present itself. If you can crawl through that window naked (or naked enough), do it!

What 3-second phrase does every marriage need regarding sex?

"Thy will be done."

Look at me getting all King James-y on you.  If you don't like that version, you could go with "Your will be done" (NIV) or "Do what's best" (The Message).

Or if you are really free spirited (and Italian), you could go with, "Hey Lord, we want it all sexy up in here. Capisce?"

Any. Way. My point?

Even though the Lord already knows what's going on with sex in your marriage, He still desires you invite Him in. That's just His nature. He wants to be in conversation with His people. He desires that we humbly ask Him to work His way in our hearts.

And in our bed.

When was the last time you and/or your husband asked that the Lord's will be done in your sexual intimacy?

When was the last time you cried out to the Lord, "Please, Lord, show us what you want in our bed? Reveal to us your heart for sexual passion in our marriage?"

Even among Christians, it can feel weird to think of God paying any attention to sex.

I mean sex in marriage.

We seem obsessed with what He has to say about singles abstaining from sex or about pornography or about adultery. But sexual passion and pleasure in marriage? We too often skirt right past His specifics on that.

What will it take for you to ask God that His will be done in your sexual intimacy?

If you have experienced His provision in other areas of your life, you know that He is faithful.  And though He doesn't always respond to our prayers as we would prefer, He always is steadfast in His compassion and presence in our lives.

Pleading "Thy will be done..." is not like putting a coin in a candy machine. It's not a quick fix. It's not a free pass on having to do the hard work of repairing the brokenness and fragility in our sexual intimacy. Or the hard work of discovering all sex can be to our relationship.

And it's not a trite phrase, offered up nonchalantly as mere token, a half-hearted acknowledgement of the Lord's ability (while simultaneously believing He is not able).

And certainly "Thy will be done" should never be couched in any kind of spiritual righteousness that we lord over our spouse, as if to spew with indignation and anger, "God is on my side in this!"

Nope. "Thy will be done" -- this 3-second phrase that all marriages need regarding sex -- is about surrender more than anything else. Whether sexual intimacy in your marriage is phenomenal right now or at a place of devastation or somewhere in between, you cannot go wrong with surrendering your heart to God.

"Thy will be done."

Sometimes He does miraculous things in our sexual brokenness. Other times, no circumstances change, but we become more aware of His comfort amidst the heartache.

And still other times, He heightens our awareness to the profound joy and oneness that sex brings to a marriage. (For more on that, read Why God is So Thrilled When You and Your Husband Make Love).

No matter where you are right now with sexual intimacy in your marriage, ask that His will be done. Invite Him in. He longs to hear you spend 3 seconds humbly saying those words.

Thy. Will. Be. Done.

Copyright 2018, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.

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January 24th, 2018 by