Intimacy in Marriage

Encouraging Christian Women toward Healthy Sexual Intimacy

What I Believe

I recognize that as a woman speaking and writing about sex, I need to be really clear about what I believe.  Certainly I am very open in generating authentic dialogue (I'm not afraid to call it like it is).  At  the same time, I hold to foundational (some would even say "conservative" or "traditional") beliefs about sex and marriage.   

Here is what I believe:

I believe that Jesus Christ came so that we may have life and have it to the full.  He died on the cross for our sins.  When we acknowledge Him as the One True Lord and Savior and repent and ask for forgiveness for our sins, we are indeed forgiven and have eternal life.  Faith in Christ does not instantly make marriage easy, but faith certainly does better equip us to journey and to appreciate all that is good about marriage. 

God designed marriage to be between one man and one woman.  I do not believe in any version of marriage that says it is okay for spouses to have sex of any sort with other people or to invite other people into the exclusivity of their intimacy.  Third parties in any way, whether they be in person or portrayed through elicit material such as pornography, is adultery.  God hates adultery.

Sexual intimacy is not optional for married couples.  I take to heart 1 Corinthians 7, which clearly says a husband and a wife are not to withhold their bodies from each other.  I recognize that there are instances of illness or injury that make it difficult or impossible to make love.  These are the rare exceptions though (and even in many of those exceptions, close physical contact is still possible and should be nurtured).  The vast majority of us married folk should be having sex with our spouse on a somewhat regualr basis (I'm not going to slap a number on what "regular" means, but certainly regular enough that we know within our hearts and before the Lord that He is pleased with the ways we nurture our marriage).

God designed our sexual organs, including orgasm. (Kudos to you God!  Definitely one of your shining moments).  Sexual pleasure within marriage was His idea.   He himself said that what He has created is good.  That being the case, I believe that both a husband and a wife should feel free to initiate sex, nurture sex and fully enjoy sex with their spouse.

The "one flesh" dynamic is unique to the covenant relationship of marriage.  One flesh is about so much more than sex. It is about emotional, spiritual and physical connectedness.  I believe the profound implications of sexual intimacy beyond the physical aspects are one of the reasons God wants sex to be kept within marriage.  To say there is a lot at stake is an understatement.

When things get treacherous in marriage (notice I say "when" not "if"), I wholeheartedly believe that married couples should seek resources to help them journey and strengthen their marriage.  I'm not in the camp of "going at it alone" when it comes to solving problems in such an important relationship as the covenant of marriage.  There are many, many Christian resources available, whether they be counseling, books, websites, etc.  Isolation in our pain and confusion sucks.  God is all about shedding light and inviting us to walk in it.

So, there you have it.  A quick synopsis of what I believe.  If you wanted to talk to me further or if you have questions, please contact me.  I love that kind of dialogue!  No question catches me off guard and I am very comfortable talking about sex. Obviously.  402.981.4339 or

October 8th, 2010 by JulieSibert