Category: Uncategorized

April 28th, 2016 by Julie Sibert

 

It's wedding season.

And I can't help but to reflect back on a wedding I attended years ago.

The pastor looked at the groom during the ceremony and boldly said, "Son, you better satisfy her sexually. Or someone else will."

Wow.

You could hear the collective gasp in that sanctuary.

But you know what?!

That pastor was full of profound insight.

Sure, we can think of a few other ways he maybe could have said it (like maybe that they should both satisfy each other sexually).

BUT, honestly, I passionately believe his point was spot on.

Sex matters in a marriage.

And the sooner we help young marriages realize this, the BETTER.

I'll be headed to my niece's wedding early this summer, and I can't help but ponder about what young marriages really need these days.

Actually, it's what young marriages have ALWAYS needed.

Solid information about sexual intimacy in marriage.

Think about how much better off marriages would be if they could start with a healthy perspective on sex?

Think how much heartache would be prevented?  How much sexual struggle could be minimized if a couple could build a solid sexual foundation from the get-go, rather than try to repair the sexual disconnect years or decades later?!

No, I'm not so naive to believe that building a strong healthy marriage all comes down to sex.  I know full well that marriage is hard and takes tremendous commitment, sacrifice, compromise and investment on all fronts.

But still this truth remains: When sexual connection is ignored, downplayed or relegated to the "we'll get to nurturing it someday," the marriage suffers.  There is no question about this.

Don't even get me started about the infamous "someday."  I remember telling myself that in my first marriage.  You can read more about my story here.

Sex matters in a marriage.

Today, I encourage you to do a brave and wise thing.

Invest in the young marriages you care about -- the ones that are about to begin and the ones that are still in their early years.

When I co-authored the book Pursuit of Passion: Discovering True Intimacy in Your Marriage, my heart was to make a difference in marriages -- to help them be PRO-ACTIVE in pursuing amazing sexual connection.

pursuit-of-passionMy book is available in eBook, audio book and PRINT, so you have many options.

It's comprehensive and biblical and specific encouragement, so I have no doubt that ANY couple could glean nuggets of gold from it.

Even if you don't want to buy my book, there are countless books out there by Christian authors.  We really have no excuse for not helping couples discover true intimacy in their marriage.

You can find out more about the various buying options for Pursuit of Passion at this link.  Or if you are an Amazon fan, you could just go directly to the Amazon link.

At any rate, give the perfect gift this wedding season.  Invest in the marriages you care about.

Copyright 2016, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.

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Posted in authentic, intimacy, orgasm, passion, sexual intimacy struggles, Uncategorized Tagged with: , , , ,

emotionally-abusive-marriage
April 23rd, 2016 by Julie Sibert

emotionally-abusive-marriageNearly every post I write is aimed at nudging individuals or couples toward deeper intimacy and healthy sexual connection.

Maybe their sexual intimacy is already pretty good, but they are looking to strengthen it more.

Or maybe their sexual intimacy is slightly off track (frequency, variety, miscommunication), and they are looking to shore up those aspects that have been neglected.

Occasionally, though, there are days when I must -- absolutely must -- write specifically about marriages that are crumbling under much more than occasional sexual disconnect.

Some marriages are struggling (often in secret) with the devastation of emotional abuse and/or spiritual abuse.

Such struggles tend to be harder to identify, because the symptoms are less obvious than what we find with physical abuse.

Add to this that in situations of emotional and spiritual abuse, wives in particular are more likely to receive guidance that may sound biblical on the surface, but really isn't.

Maybe she reaches out and vulnerably shares her pain, fear and concern with a church leader, Bible study group or another Christian, only to be told to simply "pray more" about her marriage or "study the scriptures on what it means to be a godly wife."

In emotionally abusive Christian marriages, one spouse is likely using God's Word manipulatively to threaten, coerce or demand compliance (sexually, emotionally, financially, etc.)

I'm not an expert on emotional and spiritual destruction in a marriage, but I want to point you to someone who is.

Over the years, I've grown to greatly respect the work of Leslie Vernick.  She is a Christian counselor with extensive understanding about emotional and spiritual abuse, particularly in Christian marriages.

She has helpful ways to discern if something truly is abuse, as opposed to dissatisfaction with marriage.

Her work has hit home with me as of late, because I sometimes receive emails, comments and questions from people who find themselves in situations that are textbook examples of what Vernick has found in her work.

A common feeling of people who are emotionally abused is that they have no voice, have "lost" themselves, and do not have the freedom disagree with their spouse on anything.

If you or someone you know is being emotionally abused, I HIGHLY encourage you to get Vernick's book "The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope."  She also wrote the book "How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong."

Even if you only suspect emotional abuse is happening, get the book. With great clarity, Vernick walks the reader through signs to look for, as well as ways to respond.

Vernick also blogs and offers other resources at her website www.LeslieVernick.com.

She's the real deal and offers godly wisdom that is needed in too many marriages.

I have no doubt God is using her to equip emotionally-abused spouses to navigate and, in some cases, break free from dangerous situations.

Copyright 2016, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.

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Posted in marriage problems, sexual intimacy struggles, sexual struggles, Uncategorized Tagged with: , , ,

April 22nd, 2016 by Julie Sibert

Our youngest cub screamed "MOM!!" at the top of his lungs. (And I was a mere 20 feet away, mind you).

Obviously, I was going to walk into the living room and find a severed limb (which has never happened in my house) or a broken big screen TV (which has happened in my house. But that's a story for another time).

Takes a lot to rattle me, but I got up from my chair at my desk and nonchalantly responded to what must be a life-or-death situation.

Nope.

It was dog puke.

There's much truth in that saying that once a woman becomes a mother, her tolerance for gross stuff goes way up.

Out of necessity.  Out of frequency of said scenarios.

Out of reality that as her tolerance is rising, the tolerance of every other capable person in the house seems to systematically plummet.

So I pulled the carpet cleaning machine from the closet to clean up dog puke from carpet that I think was installed in the early 80s. (That's no lie.)

Always the optimist, I rationalized it was a good time to clean the carpet anyway, because there were already muddy prints on it.  (Thanks to the pup. And the rain.)

What could all this possibly have to do with sex?

Well, nothing directly per se.  I mean, after all, cleaning up dog puke hardly could be considered foreplay, even with the loosest definitions of foreplay.

BUT, life is messy, right?

And it's more often messy than it is crisp and clean.  Messy hearts. Messy emotions.  Messy calendars. Messy floors. Messy jobs. So on and so forth.  You know what I'm talking about.

And I have found that sexual intimacy with my husband helps me keep sane amidst all that mess.

Sex builds our resilience to weather the ups and downs of life, the annoying inconveniences (dog puke), the debilitating tragedies (grief, loss, confusion), and the crazy-making that just comes with being human.

And with being married.

This is why I have sex.  Much more than the biblical command behind it, but rather because sexually connecting with the man I love gives me perspective.

Keeps me grounded.

Reassures my heart.

Helps me not be derailed by life's messiness.

I think God just knew -- He knew that when a husband and wife mutually and respectfully and intentionally treasure each other intimately, they would find solace there.  They would be rejuvenated by their sexual oneness in unexpected ways.

So I cleaned up the dog puke. Marveled at my now somewhat-clean 1980s carpet.

And felt grateful my husband and I had made love last night.  God must have known I needed it.

Copyright 2016, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.

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intimacy-in-marriage
April 21st, 2016 by Julie Sibert

 

intimacy-in-marriageIt was raining as we crawled beneath the sheets, the sound of water running down the gutter outside our window.

The song "Who'll Stop the Rain" weaved its way into our conversation in the dark, as we laughed and cuddled and lay naked next to each other.

And we were trying to remember who sang that song originally.

(We also were trying to remember the first name of a kid who our oldest son played baseball with several years ago, which really had nothing to do with the rain song. But it helps paint a picture for you of the randomness of our conversation).

Anyway, in our attempt to remember the song, I racked my brain for other lyrics in it, but came up blank.

I rolled over and grabbed my phone and did a search.  (For the love of God, what did we do before the internet?! Seriously.)

It's Creedence Clearwater Revival, by the way. Released in 1970, the year I was born.

So we played the small portion of the song, and I tried to join in right before the clip ended, which my husband, laughing, unabashedly said, "You added nothing to it."

So true.  And we laughed about that.

What's my point in sharing all this with you?

There's something to be said for connecting with your husband before you drift off to sleep, regardless of whether you have sex.

(Although, I might add, we did make love after all this, if you can believe it.  Maybe having finally identified CCR as the artist, not to mention my stellar vocal contribution, lent well to putting us in a playful mood.  Midway through foreplay, I remembered the name of the kid our son played ball with and I mentioned it to my husband. Which, not gonna lie, seems kind of weird to think about now as I tell you.)

Anyway.

My beloved and I have had some of our most endearing conversations and connection in those moments between awake and asleep -- the moments that are intensely personal, private and full of the kind of knowing that is harder to find in the busyness of daily life.

It's sweet, sweet connection, and it's one of the reasons we try on a regular basis to crawl into bed together.

I wrote a similar post about this awhile back, where I pleaded, "Keep me in the dark please."

Do you and your husband try to go to bed together at the same time?  I know it's not always possible.

But strive toward it every now and then, okay?  God offers you a profound opportunity in those moments between awake and asleep.

Copyright 2016, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.

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April 16th, 2016 by Julie Sibert

I admit it.

I have a bit of a writer's crush on Joy McMillan.

Joy and I connected awhile back, and I reviewed her book XES: Why Church Girls Tend to Get It Backwards ... and How to Get It Right.  Fantastic sex book, by the way.

When she asked if I would take a look at her latest book, I was more than happy to say yes.  It's called Penduka: 21 Ways to Awaken Passion & Purpose in Everyday Life.

I know I'm diverging a bit here from the sex topic, but I think it's worth it because I like to let my readers know about resources that help them live more authentically and fully.  I believe this book is filled to the brim with nuggets of gold.

If you mine those nuggets, you can transform your life, even by baby steps. Sometimes by big steps.

Mind you, this book isn't about a quick fix.  It resonates what is true of any book like this -- if you want something in your life to look different, you have to be willing to look intimately at your story, own it and see where you need to adjust.

And then you have to actually make those adjustments.

The book is broken into three sections:  PASSION, PURPOSE, and PROCESS.  She weaves anecdotes and practical tips throughout to make the book more applicable.

What I found encouraging about the book is that Joy stays true to her writing style and is willing to be vulnerable about her doubts, weaknesses, and questions.

There's power in owning your story, and Joy owns hers well -- even the messy parts that at times baffle her and other times inspire her.

"Your story isn't just a past to regret and resent and hide, it's a brush stroke on a massive canvas that reveals a greater story. As you take your nose from that dark spot you've been pressed up against, and step back, you'll start to see the bigger picture taking shape."

I will offer a bit of a disclaimer that the book is not a quick read.  Joy covers a lot of ground, and I personally think that's good if you are ready to figure out what it is personally going  to take to do what the book says -- awaken passion and purpose in everyday life.

Joy wisely recognized that a little guidance while foraging through the book would be helpful, so there is a companion study guide titled Wake Up Your Soul.

The book and companion guide will likely appeal more to women, but I never want to box something in too much.  Gals, when you read the book, you may find ways to encourage your husband to live more passionately in his own life as well.

If you're like me, you read a book with a pen and highlighter locked and loaded, ready to snag the points that genuinely resonate with you and hopefully challenge you.

That's how I read Penduka: 21 Ways to Awaken Passion & Purpose in Everyday Life.  I'm thinking you'll read it that way too.

You can discover more about Joy and her various endeavors at Simply Bloom.  This sweet gal is also on Facebook and Pinterest.

Copyright 2016, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.

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Posted in authentic, Uncategorized Tagged with:

March 26th, 2016 by Julie Sibert

It's a dilemma.

And more often than not, it's a dilemma for wives, whose husbands want to do something sexually that really turns the wife off.

Just to be clear, let's remove from the picture anything that biblically would be off grounds.

I've talked before about what's okay sexually.  As long as exclusivity is maintained (no third parties real, portrayed or imagined), neither spouse is getting hurt (physically, emotionally, spiritually), and the Lord doesn't expressly forbid the sex act in question, then I think married couples have tremendous creative liberty in their marriage bed.

Even within permissible sexual creativity, though, it's not surprising that some couples can't agree.

What turns one on sexually is a big turn off to the other one.

For example, a husband may be turned on by giving oral sex, but his wife doesn't like it.  It's not that she thinks it's off limits biblically; it just doesn't turn her on.

Or a wife is really turned on by receiving oral sex, but her husband doesn't like giving it.

Maybe a husband is aroused by seeing his wife in lingerie, but she can't stand putting it on -- feels self conscious or objectified, even if that's really not his heart's intent.

Or a husband loves the feel of his wife's breasts on his penis, but she doesn't care for this.

These are pretty tame examples.

I'm sure if we bantered at length over coffee (you know, in your average everyday roundtable talk), we could come up with countless specific things that turn one spouse on, while turning the other spouse off.

If you reflect on your own sexual intimacy and see a few scenarios that would fit this dilemma, what should you do?

Here are a few questions to ask yourself:

1. Is our sexual intimacy a unique blend of giving and receiving?

Sex in marriage should never be about one spouse's sexual desires and requests always superseding the other spouse's.  One of you can't hold all the cards of being able to deny something or desire something.

That's just not mature. And it's just not fair.

As a married couple, you have to learn a dance of sexually giving and receiving.  Ultimately, that is how you reach a place where you both enjoy sex and pursue it.

Maybe you could share this blog post with your spouse, and the two of you together could humbly look at your intimacy in a new light.

2. Do we have reasonable expectations?

If it turns your husband on to have you lick his testicles, his request isn't necessarily unreasonable -- unless he expects you do this every time you make love and/or he's never willing to take steps to make the experience more tolerable for you (like taking a shower before sex).

Another example would be you as a wife desire your husband use a vibrator on you, yet your husband is turned off by this. How can you arrive at good middle ground where the vibrator is included in your lovemaking some of the time, but not all of the time?

I think the only way to reach reasonable expectations in sexual intimacy is honest communication.

So, if there's something that really turns you on, don't be vague in your desire about it or wait for your spouse to read your mind.

Express your desire maturely and compassionately.

And if your spouse shares with you something they would really like sexually (that isn't off limits, as we've already clarified), make your best effort to hear them and honor them.  You gain great marital harmony with the words, "I wouldn't mind trying that every now and then, but not every time."

Key to all this is respect.

If you say you don't mind trying it every now and then, you need to make intentional effort to indeed include it every now and then.  And do it with a generous heart, rather than doing it begrudgingly.

Doing something sexually with a chip on your shoulder is a real mood killer.

3. Am I turned off because of pre-marital promiscuity?

Dig deeper as to why something is a turn off for you.  Sometimes, if something was part of your or your spouse's pre-marital promiscuity, it can take effort to grasp that context means everything.

For example, if you are turned off by oral sex or sex in the car or sexual play in the shower simply because those were things you did before you were married, I encourage you to entertain a new perspective.

The same sexual experiences in the context of your covenant marriage are rich with possibility of sweet and sacred sexual oneness.  You are married. Sex is no longer a forbidden playground.

4. Have we asked each other what turns us each on?

Sometimes it's just a matter of learning new ways to arouse each other. You can do this either by asking and/or by simply trying new touches, techniques or ideas.

The more you focus on what you both like, the broader your sexual repertoire when you crawl beneath those sheets.

What is surprising to some wives and husbands is that they didn't even know something was a turn on until they tried it.   This is certainly the case with me and my husband. I'm not going to share the details, but there are things we've done sexually that I never would have imagined would have been so arousing.

But wow.  Just wow!

And I'm not just talking about him arousing me, but also what it feels like to bring sexual pleasure to the man I love in new and creative ways.  Turning him on is a turn on for me, even if the particular act wouldn't be my first choice.

When all is said and done, you have to decide mutuality is a foundational cornerstone to your sexual intimacy.  If what turns your spouse on turns you off, don't let that be the end of the conversation.

There's more sexual ground to explore to better nurture your intimacy.  Like I said, you might be pleasantly and shockingly surprised at the turn-ons you discover along the way.

Copyright 2016, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.

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intimacy when parenting young children
March 25th, 2016 by Julie Sibert

intimacy when parenting young childrenAs many of you know, some other wives and I did a day retreat recently for engaged and newly-married Christian women.

Our goal was to give them a solid and exciting foundation for building great sexual intimacy in their marriage earlier rather than later.

One of the questions that came up during the Q/A period was, "How do I nurture intimacy while my children are young?  It seems really difficult to find the time and energy."

If you are a mom of littles, you know what we're talking about here.

For all the strides we've made with dual parenting, the reality is that in most homes, the bulk of caring for babies and small children falls to the mamas.

For one, if a mother is nursing, her body literally is not her own, but rather is a feeding trough for the little tyke (yes, I know it is a bonding experience, but it can be hard to view your breasts as an arousal point when they are a hot commodity as a food source).

And even if you aren't nursing, but have monkeys children under the age of 5, you spend a great deal of your time as a makeshift jungle gym -- holding, cuddling, reading, soothing, zipping, snapping, washing, wiping, dressing, playing, and so forth.

By the end of the day, the thought of being touched, even by the man you married, doesn't sound near as appealing as falling asleep beneath your sheets or slipping into a hot bath.

But.

(You knew I would have a disclaimer).

Here's the thing.

If you don't figure out how to have sex (and have it often) when they are little, you may be shocked to discover that you have less time and motivation when they turn into annoying inquisitive middle-schoolers or rebellious independent high-schoolers.

If you don't nurture sex now, then when?

Every season of parenting has its time constraints and energy depletion. Every. Season.

I kid you not.

I remember when my children were small, a friend of mine with older children essentially said to me, "Brace yourself. If you think your life is crazy now, you haven't seen anything yet."

Sure, the little tykes turn into big tykes who no longer paw at you (or want to be seen with you), BUT your parenting responsibilities tend to double, triple and quadruple (like rabbits, but less adorable).

And on a more serious note, one of the more common times of divorce in a marriage is between years 20 and 25 (depending on which source you read).

Why?

Because by that time, if a couple hasn't nurtured their intimacy and marriage, there's no compelling reason to stay together.  The kids are grown and gone (or at least on their way out).  More often than not, finances are more stable, making living separate lives seem more doable.

And one or both spouses finds themselves looking at the other and thinking, "I just don't know you anymore. And I really don't want to stay."

Don't shoot the messenger.

Remember, I'm here to give you hope that you don't have to be like those couples who get 20 years in, only to realize they really want out.

If you are a parent of babies or littles, intimacy in your marriage doesn't have to be put on hold until that youngest child is heading out the door.

Here are 5 tips for nurturing hot sex in your marriage NOW, rather than LATER:

1. Put the kids in their own room.

I know, I know.

Some of you are big on the whole family bed concept.  Sadly, what I think happens in too many houses isn't family bed at all, but rather "mom and kid" bed, while dad sleeps elsewhere.

Regardless of whether you're all sharing a bed or if you've told yourself "just while they are little,"  I'm going to challenge you to reclaim some marital ground.

Personally, I think your bed should be the one place in the house that is just about the two of you.  Much easier to teach those kids that they have their own space in their room, rather than fight the battle of getting them out of your bed after they've been sleeping in it for 6 years.

2.  Lower your standards on what doesn't matter.

About 85% of it doesn't matter.  Pour most of your heart into what does matter -- your relationships.

If you have to push the unfolded laundry off the bed or leave the dishes till morning or constantly have a family room that looks like Toys R Us just blew up, so be it.

There's something profound about drawing a line in the sand.

The dishes can wait. The laundry can wait.  Put those kids to bed, take your spouse's hand, go into your bedroom, and shut the door.

Shut the door. And open your heart and arms.

3.  Be sexually suggestive throughout the day.

Our bodies tend to follow the lead of our thoughts and words.  Be sexually playful with each other, through your phone calls, an occasional note in the brief case or lunch box, creative texts, "I can't wait till we can be alone" glances.

You get the idea. I don't have to paint you a picture.  But if I did, it would have a lot of sexual innuendo in it.

4. Don't wait for perfect moments.

A lot of great sex can be had in 20 minutes. Sure, we'd all like an ideal setting and a leisurely hour, but are you really going to build anything solid on the rare occasions when the stars align and everything is perfect?

Nope.

A better approach is to adapt.  You're in a season of having little kids, so you have no choice but to get creative. If you don't, your intimacy will suffer.

5.  Don't just go through the motions.

Sadly, a lie that a lot of women tell themselves is, "I'll give him what he wants and then he'll stop asking."

Have you entertained such thought?

If so, not only have your shortchanged your husband (who likely doesn't want obligatory sex), you've also shortchanged yourself.  Orgasm and sexual closeness are great stress relievers and help us keep things in perspective.

A little sexual perspective can do wonders for the chaos of parenting littles.

I get that you're in a demanding time of life.  And it's messy.  But here's the deal.  Life is messy.

If you don't nurture sex now, then when?

Copyright 2016, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.

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March 24th, 2016 by Julie Sibert

It sounds like you'll get a medal or raise a trophy with a plaque that says "Sex Champion!"

Well, not exactly.

Although, if they were handing out something like that, I'd want to be first in line!

So maybe you don't get to stand on a podium, per se, but certainly the Lord is well pleased any time He sees His followers speaking up about what's important to Him.

That's my eloquent way of saying, "Will you be a champion for sex in marriage?"

I was thinking about all this as I was coming down from the emotional high after a few friends and I put on a Pursuit of Passion Event on March 5 for engaged and newly-married Christian women.

It was all about helping them get their marriages off to a great start sexually!

We planned and poured our hearts into it and PRAYED that God would show up.  And boy did He!

Thirty women attended. And they were grateful to have other Christian wives speaking so boldly and specifically and biblically about sexual intimacy in marriage.  One gal said to me afterward, "If I had known it was going to be this good, I would have told more women to come!"

My friends and I aren't just trying to be champions for sex, we are also trying to create a few sex champions along the way.

Our vision is to build generational patterns of nurtured sexual intimacy.  Passionate, frequent and mutually-valued sex in a marriage -- that's our heart.

Sadly, as someone who blogs about sex, I hear too many stories of Christian wives who have heard nothing positive about sex from other Christian women. Nada. Or what they did hear was minimized to only a barrage of don't-do-its when they were teenagers or "it's gross, but your obligation" when they got married.

Tragic.

Compound that with too many Christian couples not knowing where to turn to help them build authentic sexual intimacy, and it's no wonder we don't have more sex champions.

If anyone should be the loudest sex champions, it should be married Christian couples.

(Okay I admit, that last sentence could be taken a few ways. Possibly I know too much about loud sex. But I digress.)

If you don't know how to be a sex champion, it's your lucky day!  I have IDEAS!

First, if you have children, be sure to have ongoing age-appropriate conversations with them about godly sexuality.

Don't just focus on the risks of sex outside of marriage, but give equal air time to the passion, oneness and infinite richness of sex within marriage.

Let those kiddos see you and your spouse being affectionate and playful with each other.  No, they don't need to see or know the details of your intimacy.   But there's nothing wrong with particularly the teenagers knowing you have sex.

And regardless of their age, all of your children will benefit from seeing your appropriate physical affection with each other.  They learn a lot about marriage from watching the two of you. Be a sex champion.

Second, speak favorably about sex in your circles of influence.

Don't be the wife at the Bunco party or office or moms' group who casts sex in a bad light. Don't lament about "it's all he ever wants" and then roll your eyes in disgust.

While your friends don't need to be privy to the details of your sexual intimacy, there's just something refreshingly attractive about a wife who speaks positively about sex with her husband. Don't be timid to say that it's something you both enjoy and both look forward to.  Be a sex champion.

Third, mentor younger couples about the importance and richness of sex.

As a wife, do you know a younger wife you could encourage?  Could you speak into her life about sex and marriage?   As a married couple, could you and your spouse together speak into a younger couple?

Yes, it takes courage, but you'll be saving them from a world of hurt later in their marriage if you help them establish a good sexual foundation now.  Be a sex champion.

Fourth, consider bringing an intimacy speaker into your church or small group.

There are a handful of us out there who are willing to stand in front of anyone, whether we know them or not, and talk openly about why nurtured sexual intimacy is so vital to a marriage.

I love talking about sex.  Love it.

(A good friend of mine says I'm the only person she knows who can so casually ask her about sex in her marriage with as much confidence as I would ask her what she's making for dinner or how her job is going).

Make sexual intimacy the main focus of a conference or make it a break-out session.  At any rate, get the conversation going.  Be a sex champion.

Fifth, keep investing sexually in your marriage.

Want to try a new position?  Want to find new ways to be sexually playful?  Want to better understand what turns your spouse on?

The more you nurture sex in your own marriage, the more enthusiastic you are about sex in general.  Be a sex champion.

The reality is we need more champions.  Instead of being paralyzed in fear or disgust over the ways society has skewed God's gift of sex, start to tune your heart toward what you can do in your own home and community and church to raise the bar.

What can you do today to be a sex champion?

You may not get a medal.

But I guarantee sweet Jesus will be smiling.  Your spouse will be smiling too.

Everyone will be smiling.

Because everyone loves a champion.

Copyright 2016, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.

PURSUIT OF PASSION:  Now Available in PRINT and Ebook!

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Posted in authentic, passion, sex education, sexual intimacy, Uncategorized Tagged with: , , ,

February 21st, 2016 by Julie Sibert

Occasionally, I have readers lament that I ignore women who are the higher-drive spouse in a marriage.

It's never my heart to marginalize anyone, so I wanted to take the opportunity to share that I do have a page on my site with about 20 blog posts specifically on the topic of wives who want more sex.

Some of the posts I wrote, but there are also several posts from other writers I respect.

This page is a GREAT resource.  Seriously, it is.

On the page you will find so many ideas and insights and encouragements for those wives who hunger for and desire more intimacy with their husbands, and often find themselves feeling terribly alone in the process.

Check out the page and be sure to share it as well.  You never know the marriage you could be helping!

Wives Who Want More Sex and Aren't Getting It

Never want to miss one of my posts?  Subscribe via email on this page.  And be sure to join my more than 7,000 followers on my Facebook page and 9,000 followers on Twitter.

Pursuit of Passion ResizeIf you know of engaged or newly-married women, please help them get their marriages off to the right start sexually by telling them about the March 5, 2016, Pursuit of Passion Event in Omaha!

 

Copyright 2016, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.

PURSUIT OF PASSION:  Now Available in PRINT and Ebook!

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Posted in intimacy, marriage problems, sexual intimacy, sexual intimacy struggles, Uncategorized Tagged with: , , , ,

Pursuit of Passion Resize
February 17th, 2016 by Julie Sibert

 

Pursuit of Passion ResizeIf you are an engaged or recently-married woman in the Omaha, Nebraska, area, you have a great opportunity March 5, 2016, to invest in your marriage.

Some other Christian wives and I want to give you biblical and practical tips on what it takes to have great sex in your marriage.

You possibly think sex will be no big deal in marriage... that authentic intimacy will come easily and you won't encounter struggles.

Or maybe you are already married and you're enjoying sex. Awesome!

Or maybe you've already encountered a few struggles and you wonder what it will take to build the sexual closeness you've envisioned with this man you fell in love with.

Whatever your circumstances, we encourage you to come to the March 5 event and hear not only what God has to say about sex, but also what some experienced wives have to say.

We want to pour into you, because we know nurtured intimacy is worth it!  It's so worth it!

All registered attendees receive a copy of my book Pursuit of Passion: Discovering True Intimacy in Your Marriage. Plus, we will have door prizes of books, gift cards, and more!

Register today at www.PursuitOfPassionEvent.com.  You won't regret it!

Copyright 2016, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.

PURSUIT OF PASSION:  Now Available in PRINT and Ebook!

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Posted in authentic, orgasm, passion, Uncategorized Tagged with: , ,