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I was taking a basket of clothes into our bedroom and I caught my wedding ring on the hallway doorframe.
It not only scratched the doorframe, but also ripped off one of the prongs holding one of three diamonds in my ring.
In an instant, that diamond was gone. Even though I noticed right away what had happened, I could not find the diamond anywhere on the floor.
Of course, I figured out how to turn this predicament into a blog post about sex. (I know. You're shocked.) And the G-spot, nonetheless! Don't stop reading now.
To give you a quick primer about the G-spot, it is named for Ernst Grâfenberg, M.D., who wrote about this spot in 1950 (although he didn't coin the term G-spot). Some people debate whether it really exists, but if you ask any woman who has experienced sexual pleasure when her G-spot is stimulated, it exists!
Needless to say, I am wholeheartedly in the camp of, "It exists!!"
The G-spot is more accurately described as the general area located on the anterior (front) wall of the vagina. You don't need Google Maps to find it. I'll get you there.
If you lay on your back and your husband lays next to you, have him gently slide his pointer finger into your vagina with his palm up. If he then uses that finger (or two fingers) to make the "come here" motion on the inside wall of your vagina, you may find this is pleasurable (maybe even orgasmic). He may need to use some lubricant if your vagina isn't already moist from arousal.
As for the skepticism about its existence, this likely stems from the reality that it isn't a definitive spot. There's not something that scientists and doctors can identify in that area in the same way they can identify an organ.
The sexual pleasure that women report from this area is likely because the nerves and tissue in that area are closely associated with the nerves and entire structure of the clitoris.
As a woman who frequently experiences G-spot orgasms, I can attest that the pleasurable feeling from this area is different than when I experience a clitoral orgasm. I'm not saying everything isn't connected from a physiological standpoint. I'm just saying that these orgasms feel different for me.
Still A-MA-ZING in their own regard, but different nonetheless.
Wow. I'm kind of careening past primer stage right into Encyclopedia Britannica stage. As if I haven't given you enough, the G-spot also is closely associated with female ejaculation, which I wrote about here and here if you want to study up on that after you finish this post).
So where were we? Oh yes, talking about my lost diamond.
At first when I couldn't find my diamond, I was a bit tense. It is a diamond, after all. From. My. Wedding. Ring!
But that tension wasn't helping me one bit in my search. I took a breath and I relaxed. Stressing about finding it was certainly not going to help me actually find it.
That's true about the G-spot too. I think women who report having G-spot pleasure are more often pretty relaxed and comfortable with their sexual pleasure.
I did not have G-spot orgasms early in our marriage, and for me personally, I think it's because I was still really learning to relax and genuinely soak in the enjoyment of sex. I discovered I truly love sex and could lose myself in it, which I loved, too!
I'm not saying relaxation is a sure fire way to find your G-spot, but I definitely think it is exponentially harder to find if you are not relaxed.
So focus more on simply enjoying sex, exploring each other's bodies and valuing your oneness. It is in this setting that searching for the G-spot will seem less complicated.
It seemed odd to me that the diamond wasn't right by the door frame where the incident happened. I was down on my hands and knees with a flashlight, searching the area thoroughly.
But then I had to take our son to school, so I headed out the door.
When I came back, I decided to try another method. I emptied our vacuum cleaner and decided to vacuum the entire area, including every crevice I could find under furniture and along baseboards. I then sat on my kitchen floor and dumped the vacuum contents on to paper towels, searching through the dust and hair and grime.
Still no diamond.
I decided to take a break, pray about it, reflect and breathe deep. I shifted my attention to something else for awhile.
If you and your husband are looking for your G-spot, you would be wise to not give up after the first try. Give it several tries over a variety of lovemaking encounters before you give up.
I found my diamond about 10 feet from that door frame, and it was in a completely unlikely spot. I just happened to glance down as I was looking for it again, and I saw it! Maybe my son or I accidentally kicked it. Who knows?
I hadn't given up, though, after the first try. And I don't want you to give up after your first try at finding your G-spot.
You know what? If I had not found my diamond, everything would have been okay. Even without that diamond, I would still have what matters -- a loving husband, a loving marriage, a beautiful covenant.
Our marriage is not defined by that diamond. While I am grateful I found it, I would have been at peace had I not found it. It is important to keep everything in perspective, because success is not found in the diamond. It's found in our committed relationship.
Same is true about the G-spot.
If you find the G-spot and experience the sexual pleasure of it, great! But if you don't? That's fine, too! A successful sexual connection cannot be reduced to a mere checklist.
What makes sexual intimacy and sexual pleasure so profound is that it is intimately unique to each married couple. Arousal, connection, orgasm, feeling treasured, experiencing deep love, knowing oneness -- these are the building blocks of successful sexual intimacy.
Having a G-spot orgasm -- or being able to cause a wife to experience one -- does not make someone a better lover than someone else. This isn't a competition. Profound sexual intimacy is possible with and without the G-spot making its presence known! Keep everything in perspective.
So there you have it... a little G-Spot 101 for your reading delight.
Don't forget to mosey over to The Orgasm Page for more posts on sexual pleasure. Any other thoughts on the G-spot?
Copyright 2018, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.