Intimacy in Marriage

Encouraging Christian Women toward Healthy Sexual Intimacy

Anything is Foreplay if You Want it To Be

My friend and I were chatting on the phone, but she couldn't talk for long because she and her husband had made plans to go for a walk.

"You know, a walk is foreplay if you want it to be," I said, laughing.

This is a friend who loves sex, so I knew she would agree.

Before we hung up, we concluded anything is foreplay if you want it to be. It's all in the attitude.

How willing are you to be sexually playful in your marriage?

How eager are you to turn your husband on, even if the scenario or surroundings seem less than sexual at first glance?

Below are three ideas to enhance your foreplay creativity:

Food

When I was in college, I comically gave my mom and stepdad a book that was titled something along the lines of "Cooking Shrimp Scampi in the Nude." We all laughed a bit! I don't really know if they followed the recipe precisely, but I do know that some couples find it arousing to cook together.

You wouldn't have to be nude, of course.

Cooking together is a great opportunity for genuine connection through your conversation and touch. A lot of sexual suggestion is possible in the kitchen... you know... where things get hot.

Speaking of hot, just make sure that if you want to get frisky later, you wear gloves while cutting up peppers.

My beloved and I grow a bounty of peppers in our garden, including jalapeños and other spicy varieties.  If you cut these up without wearing gloves, the pepper juice will seep into your hands and is not easily washed off. When your hands roam later to sensitive areas on your spouse, the experience could be hot, but not in an arousing way.

If you want to figuratively spice things up with food, there are some old standbys that are pretty much a sure thing.

Whipped cream lends itself well to foreplay.  And you can't really go wrong with chocolate syrup or ice cream (assuming you and your beloved find such delicacies scrumptious).

Sweet tends to win out over savory, but I'm not here to judge on what delicacies stir arousal between you and your spouse.

What's key with food used in foreplay and lovemaking is you both find it appealing. My husband would never want to eat Thanksgiving dinner off me if it included sweet potatoes... because... well... he hates sweet potatoes. (Not that he's ever suggested eating Thanksgiving dinner off me, but if he did, I promise you sweet potatoes would not be on the menu).

Get creative, make food suggestions and find ways to be playful.

A word of caution with something like yogurt. Anything that contains a live culture longs to grow in a place that is damp and dark.  So when I say anything can be foreplay, I guess what I really mean is anything but yogurt.

Hobby or Interest

What do you both enjoy doing in your free time? Do you have a shared hobby or interest?

Some couples are die-hard fitness enthusiasts, so one of those American Ninja Warrior courses may be good foreplay. Or maybe one of those mud runs or Spartan races? Personally, I'd be in traction after something like that, so I doubt it would pique my sexual curiosity, but to each their own.

What about movies or stage productions?

A dark theatre seems like an opportune place to convey some sexual desire through a little foreplay.  Obviously, keep the PDA appropriate, but certainly a lot of sexual suggestion can be conveyed discreetly, right?!

Do you and your husband enjoy nature? Camping and hiking can take you to some remote places, where you can enjoy each other's glory while in God's glory. Or maybe the treehouse in your backyard would be a good setting for some foreplay? Just an idea.

Favorite TV shows you like?  If you have the house to yourself, curl up under a blanket wearing very little while you marathon watch a Netflix series or something you have on the DVR.

What about a renaissance festival? Some people have so much fun with these.

I mean, where else do you get to dress up in period costumes, feast on roasted turkey legs and see people jousting? The turn on possibilities are endless, if you're into that sort of thing. Or even if you're not. There literally are knights in shining armor at these things, so why not take your own knight in shining armor and make a day (and a night) out of it?!

I don't know what your hobbies or interests are, but I guarantee you that if it is something you enjoy together, you can integrate foreplay in there somewhere. Give it a go. See where it takes you.

Sense of Humor

I think the couples that have the most fun with foreplay -- especially foreplay that rarely would be classified as such -- are the couples who have a healthy sense of humor. Oh my goodness, there's nothing quite like being able to laugh together.

Laughing together strengthens your connection as husband and wife, and where there is strong connection, sexual delight is bound to be in close proximity. Some couples have built a history of inside jokes, phrases and stories that only the two of them understand and appreciate.

My husband and I still laugh together about something that happened our wedding night (had nothing to do with sex, but happened in the privacy of our hotel room and was comical).  We also have a shared memory of something we saw on our honeymoon in San Antonio that makes us both chuckle to this day.

You get the point. Inside jokes. Shared understandings. Smiling at each other without even saying a word.

So what about you?  I challenge you to write a comment down below about some foreplay you've enjoyed that doesn't seem like foreplay when taken at face value. Keep it clean, kids. Just enough details to give us some ideas.

You can write your comment anonymously if you want (Just remember that it won't appear immediately because I moderate my comments on my site).

Let's be Christians who are passionate about authentic sexual intimacy -- and about turning anything we can into some form of foreplay!

For more reading, check out How to Get an A+ in Foreplay.

Copyright 2018, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.

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January 18th, 2018 by