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You've not just heard about multiple orgasms.
You've actually wondered if they are a real thing (as opposed to mere words and myths, taunting you from magazine covers as you buy juice boxes, Cheerios and yet another gallon of milk).
You've wondered about them -- unless, of course, you've had them (the multiple orgasms that is, not the Cheerios).
All wondering dissipates as you fall over the edge of pleasure again and again. In fact, at that point, you probably sound like Oliver Twist.
"Sir, may I have some more?!"
Multiple orgasms are indeed a real thing (I speaketh of what I knoweth). And while I do not think they are the end all of sexual experience or a necessity for great sexual intimacy, I do believe they are a sweet glimpse of sexual possibilities in marriage.
If you haven't had multiple orgasms (but want to!), there are ways you can make them your reality.
Here are three of those ways...
1. Appreciate that your orgasm matters.
I think one of the biggest barriers to a wife having multiple orgasms is that she's not all that comfortable with having even one. She has reduced her own pleasure during lovemaking to a nice side benefit. "If it happens, it happens. If not, oh well."
If things are not even marginally good now, you can't really expect "extraordinarily good" to follow.
I would put multiple orgasms in the extraordinarily good category, not because I think they have to happen every time, but because I think when they do happen, they are worth savoring. But if you don't appreciate the wonder of one orgasm, it's unlikely you'll sing accolades for multiple waves of pleasure.
My advice, one wife to another? Start caring about your own sexual pleasure. Become incredibly willing to learn your own body, explore the stimulation your body (particularly your clitoris) needs for you to climax, and then teach your husband.
Husbands, let her teach you. Encourage her to teach you. Try different things. Listen to her guidance. Pay close attention to her body cues. Ask. Then ask again.
"What feels good?" A deep vulnerability for both of you to not only ask that question, but also to mine the depths of its answer, will take you to profound places.
I've long believed that phenomenal sex in marriage finds its roots in the crevices of complete trust in each other and in the Lord's design for sex. There are treasures of oneness that are yours for the taking. And that's true whether you have multiple orgasms or not.
2. Lean into pleasure.
Okay, so the first orgasm comes... which typically is the strongest one... and our tendency can be to immediately move into "wind down" mode. The orgasm was good...it opened the door to a very nice room.
But what if there is another door in the room?
Instead of pausing inside the first door, move toward the other door. And when you open up that one, you might be delighted to indeed find another door.
In other words, why not see what happens if you lean into the pleasure after your first orgasm. Why not see what happens if he doesn't immediately stop thrusting once you've climaxed?
There is a lot to be said for what happens when we as wives embrace what it means to be sexually confident and uninhibited.
You, dear one, are a sexual being. As a wife, God has given you full authority to embrace sexual pleasure with your husband. All that nakedness (physical, emotional and spiritual) that is happening exclusively between you and your husband in the privacy of your lovemaking? It delights the Lord! He is happy about it.
3. Stop telling yourself they aren't possible.
Yeah, this one seems like a no-brainer, but for a motivational junkie like myself, I truly do believe that everything really does begin as a thought. So, if you've been downplaying the likelihood of you experiencing multiple orgasms, then your body will likely follow suit.
If, on the other hand, you relax and broaden your perspective, you might be pleasantly surprised at what you discover. Revel in the possibility of multiple orgasms.
Hey, I admit, I was once a skeptic about multiple orgasms.
But now I'm a believer. I'm not going to belt out a Neil Diamond song or anything, but I'm still a believer. With a very content smile on my face.
For more reading on multiple orgasms, check out this post by Mrs. Hot Holy Humorous.
Copyright 2013, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.