Intimacy in Marriage

Encouraging Christian Women toward Healthy Sexual Intimacy

Are You a Married Christian Wanting to Live as a Single Christian?

Sometimes I miss being single.

When I was single, I had tremendous discretion over how to spend my time and money.  I could arrange my living space however I wanted. I could go on a road trip with friends on a whim.

Sometimes I miss my life before I had kids.

I could work out at the gym whenever I wanted.  I wasn't constrained by the schedule of someone else's bedtime or school routine.  When I was at a restaurant, I didn't have to cut up anyone's food.  And I could sit there for four hours and talk leisurely with a friend over wine or coffee.

But....

More often than not, I am so glad I am married!

I get this loving partner to help me navigate through the messiness of life.  I get someone who listens to my frustrations and my dreams.  Someone to bounce ideas off of... someone to share the responsibility of running a household and raising kids.  I get someone who makes me laugh, sees me at my worse and inspires me to be my best.  (Oh, and I get to make love to my best friend... what a sacred right and responsibility that is!)

And more often than not, I am so glad I do have kids!

I get to be a part of something amazing...something bigger than myself.  I get to discover the world through fresh eyes and new experiences.  I get to laugh and love and protect in a way I never did before.

My point?

My point is that no matter the situation we are in, there are pluses and minuses... and there are rights and responsibilities.

One of the rights and responsibilities of marriage is sex.  Yet too many married people want to essentially live as if they are single.

And by "single" I'm not talking about the way of the world... the promiscuity of "friends with benefits." (Although some married folk do want to live that way, sadly).

What I instead am talking about is "single" as God would have them live... not having the right and responsibility to have sex.

Are you a married Christian wanting to live as if you are a single Christian?

It's worthy to dig into this dynamic... this tendency to resist the rights and responsibilities that come with the life we have chosen.

Hey, I'm not perfect.  I'm guilty of this at times.  Like I said, sometimes I miss the freedom that I had, particularly with my time, before I was married and had kids.

But I am married and I do have kids.   And I don't take either of those endeavors lightly.  They are packed with a lot of work, but they are also packed with a boatload of fun and love and wonder too.

Look closely at your life... the choices you have made that have put you where you are now... and ask yourself if you are doing all you can to embrace what such situations entail?

Humbly consider this...

If you have kids, is it really healthy for anyone if you live as if you don't?

If you are married, is it really healthy for anyone if you live as if you aren't?

Copyright 2012, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.

October 20th, 2012 by