Intimacy in Marriage

Encouraging Christian Women toward Healthy Sexual Intimacy

Pursue Me Sexually, Dear Husband

As some of you know, I try to regularly ask my husband, "How can I be a better wife to you?"

Likewise, he asks me, "How can I be a better husband to you?"

His answer usually revolves around food, because I kind of suck at meal planning (although I’m getting better).

God bless my dear husband.  He just wants to know that something other than microwave popcorn and instant oatmeal is going to grace our dinner table.

My answer usually revolves around sex.

I like to be pursued by my husband. Call it healthy lust.  Call it passion.  Call it "come hither, I can’t live one more moment without your touch." Call it whatever you want.

I savor it!

I truly appreciate when my husband expresses his desire for me, whether that be right before we make love or as he hugs me just a moment longer before he leaves for work.

And yes, I know that there is much more to all this than just physical desire.  In my opinion, though, when it comes to one-flesh, we shouldn’t even be able to relegate desire to separate corners of Emotional, Physical and Spiritual.

To me, they all tenderly intermingle, like a fondue dinner.

I want it all.  I want the creamy cheese fondue, the sweet chocolate, the sizzling hot oil.  (Okay, my metaphor may be taking on a whole new meaning right now).

My point is – and I do have one – is that marriage affords us the opportunity to exclusively pursue each other in a way that is right and holy and fun and tender.

Is it just me, or do you find that tremendously raw and worth protecting?

I've previously dug into this desire issue when I explored one truth about marriage you can't escape.

I'm sad when I hear of marriages that have fallen so far to a place of comfort (or worse, to a place of disdain) that they have actually forgotten what it means to pursue each other.  They see no need for it.

But there is a need for it!

Life is hard and chaotic and messy.

Amidst all that, it is enticing and enriching to know my husband still longs for me – and instead of ignoring those urges, he leans into them and acts upon them.

So yes, pursue me dear husband.

And in return, maybe I’ll make a meal.  I'm thinking fondue, literally and figuratively. Yum.

What do you all think about pursuit?!  Please comment and let's get this discussion going!

I also encourage you to check out Paul Byerly's post LUST: I Want You.  Not only does he do a great job of exploring the issue of lust, he also includes links to other Christian bloggers looking at the issue.

Copyright 2012, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.

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March 7th, 2012 by