Intimacy in Marriage

Encouraging Christian Women toward Healthy Sexual Intimacy

Does Your Husband Want the Girlfriend Treatment? Will You Give it to Him?

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My beloved shared with me the other day that one of the guys at work was joking around about wishing he could get "the girlfriend treatment" from his wife.

Of course, this is a loose reference to the idea that a girlfriend is more sexually available and adventuresome -- and then she becomes a wife and all those fireworks go by the wayside.  Her husband is left hungering for "the girlfriend treatment."

Sadly, the reference can also suggest infidelity -- that a man is getting better sexual treatment from his mistress than he is from his wife.

Obviously, anyone who knows me and has followed this blog knows that I'm never advocating pre-marital sex or infidelity, so don't mis-read my aim or conclude that I take either of those scenarios lightly.

It is worth lingering for awhile, though, on the "the girlfriend treatment" comment.

Sure, my husband's co-worker was joking around.  Well, maybe he was.  Possibly there is a deeper message in such casual banter.

Does it apply to your marriage at all?

Sex can be sensory overload -- in a very good way.  But too often we just scratch the surface of how stimulating it really can be.

We go through the motions. Touch him here.  Kiss him this way.  Yada. Yada. Yada. He comes. Maybe you come. It's predictable and routine -- void of genuine focus, passion and allure.

So, as a wife, are you willing to go the extra mile when it comes to seducing your husband?

Are you willing to do what it takes to give him something that isn't just about orgasm, but more so is about an experience that leaves him breathless?

The truth is that even though you are his wife, you also can be his "girlfriend."  Here are some tips on leaving him giddy with delight:

Become sexually suggestive.

Arouse him throughout the day with nuances, touches and references that imply his evening will be anything but routine.

Use your hands, breasts and tongue to caress him every place except his penis.

Foreplay is incredibly powerful.  If you are reluctant to engage in drawn-out foreplay, you are limiting how intense his orgasm -- and your orgasm -- can be. Foreplay also ushers us into a place that reminds us once again that sex isn't just a physical experience -- it is a soul-filled experience as well.

Take control sexually.

Not all husbands find this arousing, but if you are fairly confident that your husband would be turned on by you taking an assertive lead in what is happening during sex, then by all means -- take the lead.  Some guys think this is off-the-charts hot.

Enthusiastically respond to his suggestion of sex.

If your husband feels like a child begging for a cookie when he suggests that he wants to have sex, then possibly you need to change how you respond to him.

The next time he expresses his desire for sex, stop what you are doing, turn toward him and give him a passionate kiss.  Look him in the eye and tell him it sounds like a great idea.

And if the timing isn't right, still respond to him positively and promise that the two of you can make love later that day or evening. (Follow through of course).

Communicate that you like what he is doing to you sexually.

When you relax and allow yourself to enjoy sex, it can be almost impossible to keep this feeling to yourself.  Instead of remaining silent during sex, respond vocally -- allow the intensity of the experience to come out so he knows you are liking it.

Honestly, I think Christian wives more than anyone should be the biggest champions of hot sex.  Sure, the media is spilling over with lame innuendos that marital sex is boring and non-existent.

But God always intended for sexual intimacy to be a sacred place -- overflowing with oneness, pleasure and delight.

Can you imagine a workplace where when one of the guys laments about wanting "the girlfriend treatment," your husband just smiles and thinks happily to himself, "I don't need the girlfriend treatment.  The wife treatment is already rocking my world!"

Any other ideas on how to give your husband "the girlfriend treatment?"

Copyright 2011, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.

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April 18th, 2011 by